Making Strange

Success!

2011-11-19T08:22:00.001+07:00

Dan's web app book has finally been published! Yay!

Our New San Francisco Home

2011-09-04T05:09:00.000+07:00

I probably shouldn't post this because I'll jinx it, but after one night and one full day of looking, I think we've found our perfect San Francisco home. It's located in Cole Valley near the Haight, and about four blocks from one of Facebook's shuttle stops.

The rental market in this city is whack. On Friday night we went to look at a one bedroom apartment that was over $2,000 per month. It was tiny, smelly, on the ground floor, had bars on all the windows and there were about 10 people lined up to see it - and multiple who were willing to make an offer on it right there. It was also located on what must be one of the noisiest intersections in San Francisco - Church and Deboce, where all the Muni trans interchange. No thanks.

I've been warned by lots of people to go to apartment viewings prepared with a portfolio of everything a prospective landlord might possibly need to decide we're good tenants. These include: a contract showing my wage, bank statements showing current assets, references, a credit report ... practically anything and everything imaginable. This would be absolutely unthinkable in the UK where protecting your personal data is such a huge priority. But here where there are far more people looking than good places available, there's no question and if you want to rent you just need to hand it all over and hope for the best.

We're meeting the Realtor to sign the lease and hand over a check in a few hours. It's been a stressful 24 hours though as we waited to hear if we'd been approved, while passing on another really beautiful property in the meantime.

The apartment is located a few blocks from Golden Gate park and about a 20 minute bus ride over the hill into the Mission, about 4 blocks from a Facebook stop. We really like the area - it's got lots of trees and it feels like a real neighborhood but it's also really buzzy with lots of shops, restaurants and bars.

The apartment itself is just under 1,000 square feet, hardwood floors, bay windows, a working fireplace and even, if you stand on your tip toes and look in exactly the right direction on a clear day, a view of the Golden Gate bridge. It's a one bedroom, but with a big dining room in addition to the living room, we've got loads of room. There are even doors we can close to the living room so if we have guests over they'll have some privacy. The really lovely thing about it is that it feels old and Victorian, but it's also just been completely renovated so it's all freshly painted, the floors newly done, the kitchen and bathroom gutted and all replaced with top of the line, modern fixtures. There's no outdoor space, but with the park so close, we're pretty fine with that.

It's so nice to be able to picture where we're going to be!

That fireplace works!

Washer and dryer - in the flat!

That wooden cabinet is built in and original to the building - 100 years old!

Dan gets a sink!

The building is tucked away on a quiet street with only seven units. After our location in Vancouver between two construction zones, it's going to feel so peaceful.

Things I Like

2011-08-22T07:03:00.000+07:00

1. Funny advice on how to survive in a male-dominated workplace from Tina Fey's Bossypants:

No pigtails, no tube tops. Cry sparingly. (Some people say "Never let them see you cry." I say, if you're so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.) When choosing sexual partners, remember: Talent is not sexually transmittable. Also, don't eat diet foods in meetings.

2. Lunches with smart, funny, inspiring women:

3. New Zealand writer Charlotte Grimshaw's pot boilers, which are maddeningly hard to find. Great for beach reading, or any other time really.

4. Tacos.

5. The idea that I might be at SXSW moderating a panel about content strategy with a bunch of really clever people. (Pssst, vote for my proposal here).

6. Adele.

7. Yesterday at Live at Squamish we got to see an amazing performance by the John Butler Trio. I love going into a gig with no expectations and being blown away by something surprising. Also, Girl Talk totally rocked the house.

SXSW Voting Time!

2011-08-18T04:02:00.001+07:00

Just click on the graphic above.

Featuring Tiffani Jones Brown (Facebook), Andy Chung (Mozilla) and Dan Zambonini (Contentini).

The last 4.5 months

2011-08-10T23:56:00.000+07:00

See them bigger on instagrid.

Yes, it's another cat video

2011-07-18T10:49:00.000+07:00

Sorry I've been such a neglectful blogger lately. Life is just moving too fast these days.

Sometimes I Feel Like This Cat

2011-06-27T09:52:00.001+07:00

Take from that what you will.

Hat Tip: Neil Cocker

Happy Sunday!

2011-05-22T23:57:00.001+07:00

PS: Yes, I know the Disney frames were recolored to match the Royal Wedding kill joys. ;)

Via Meg Fee.

It's Raining Again in Vancouver

2011-05-22T05:50:00.000+07:00

Someone put foam in the fountain in front of the Vancouver Art Gallery.

We went for brunch and walked around a bit in the rain. I took a Benedryl and it made me feel drugged. Sigh.

Brian Eno on Design

2011-05-20T11:28:00.003+07:00

The trouble begins with a design philosophy that equates "more options" with "greater freedom." Designers struggle endlessly with a problem that is almost nonexistent for users: "How do we pack the maximum number of options into the minimum space and price?" In my experience, the instruments and tools that endure (because they are loved by their users) have limited options.

Software options proliferate extremely easily, too easily in fact, because too many options create tools that can't ever be used intuitively. Intuitive actions confine the detail work to a dedicated part of the brain, leaving the rest of one's mind free to respond with attention and sensitivity to the changing texture of the moment. With tools, we crave intimacy. This appetite for emotional resonance explains why users - when given a choice - prefer deep rapport over endless options. You can't have a relationship with a device whose limits are unknown to you, because without limits it keeps becoming something else.

Indeed, familiarity breeds content. When you use familiar tools, you draw upon a long cultural conversation - a whole shared history of usage - as your backdrop, as the canvas to juxtapose your work. The deeper and more widely shared the conversation, the more subtle its inflections can be.

Brian Eno in Wired Via the very clever Miss Ticjones

Exclamation Points

2011-05-19T05:30:00.004+07:00

Love 'em or hate 'em (hate 'em), exclamation points can be divisive little bastards.

And another one that I can't embed.

This makes me want to watch the entire Seinfeld catalogue. Again.

Dorking Out to Checklists

2011-05-09T02:06:00.000+07:00

A few weeks ago one of my colleagues mentioned 'The Checklist Manifesto' by Atul Gawande. I've just gone from a very pared down life of travel to a complicated existence of living between two cities (Vancouver and San Francisco), trying to furnish an entire apartment and taking on a job that is both exciting and complex.

I've always liked making lists. There's something incredibly satisfying about writing out goals and then checking them off one by one. Gawande is a surgeon and one of the ways he manages the complexities of surgery is to create simple checklists that remind him of the simple and complex tasks he needs to perform.

Instead of being about micromanaging process, Gawande sees the checklist as a way to decentralize control. Checklists give people the tools they need to go out and do their jobs - it enables organizations to decentralize power and leaves people with the freedom to make progress doing good work.

Some of my bookmarks:

Checklists remind us of the minimum necessary steps and make them explicit. They not only offer the possibility of verification but also instill a kind of discipline of higher performance. p. 36

You push the power of decision making out to the periphery and away from the center. You give people the room to adapt, based on their experience and expertise. All you ask is that they talk to one another and take responsibility. p. 73

The real lesson is that under conditions of true complexity -- where the knowledge required exceeds that of any individual and unpredictability reigns -- efforts to dictate every step from the center will fail. People need room to act and adapt. Yet they cannot succeed as isolated individuals, either -- that is anarchy. Instead, they require a seemingly contradictory mix of freedom and expectation -- expectation to coordinate, for example, and also to measure progress toward common goals. p. 79

Under conditions of complexity, not only are checklists a help, they are required for success. There must always be room for judgment, but judgment aided -- and even enhanced -- by procedure. p.79

Image: A Checklist for Checklists by Atul Gawande. Download the PDF.

Sharing Can Be Powerful

2011-05-07T04:21:00.000+07:00

Subtle Movement

2011-04-24T05:46:00.000+07:00

I love minimal gifs - they are less of a gimmick and more of an art. These are so beautiful and make me want to visit New York.

Source: From Me To You

Psst...

2011-04-18T12:08:00.000+07:00

Hey you. Read our big news over at Contentini.

Photo by me.

Oh Yes We Did

2011-04-10T01:14:00.000+07:00

It's been a crazy few weeks! We flew into London and in the two weeks we were there we spent time everywhere from Ystradgynlais and Cardiff to London, Hitchin and Bath. It was the very definition of whirlwind and was genuinely so nice to see everyone. We had a seven day stretch where we didn't sleep in the same bed for more than one day in a row. Exhausting and we both ended up a little bit under the weather from all the mayhem.

Also, did I mention we got hitched in Bangkok on March 21st? No? Well we did and it was lovely and casual and intimate and exactly what we both wanted. I may share a picture later on.

We would have spent more time in the UK, but things started happening very quickly on the job front for me and so we really had to move up our ongoing flight to Vancouver, which is where we are now. We got in on Wednesday night and in the last three days we've spent our time trolling Craigslist and wearing our soles thin house hunting.

The market here is insane. The prices range from the lower end ($1,000 per month) to the high end ($10,000 and up) and the properties are just as diverse. It's a big city and having Vancouver on a listing can mean anything from right downtown to an hour away in Burnaby. We knew we wanted to be either downtown, in Kitsilano, Granville or the Mount Pleasant/Cambie area and we also knew that we wanted at least a two bedroom so that we could accommodate guests and also because we both work from home, it's really important to have enough space and light to want to spend all our time there. Add to that the reality that we intend to move to San Francisco at the beginning of October and thus can only sign a five month rent and you have one tall order.

We've looked at basement hovels and beautiful but tiny downtown apartments, we even looked at an apartment owned by a retired man who is going to Greece for four months. It had an amazing view but was absolutely tiny and it would have meant living with his collection of tapestries and antiques. We looked at so many things, nothing perfect and then we ran into two really great options, both in the same building.

We chose one, filled out the extensive application form (wow! I had to provide more information to qualify for this apartment than I had to provide for my US work visa!) and kept our fingers and toes crossed. We knew it was possibly a long shot because the apartment was extensively shown, but man, we really wanted it.

The call just came through about 15 minutes ago that our references were good and we've got the place. It really feels like winning a lottery in a market like this. The apartment is absolutely lovely (pictures are above) and includes:

1000 square feet of space (you have no idea, this is BIG for Vancouver)
2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms
A small deck (it's only on the 6th floor, so the view isn't amazing, but with floor to ceiling windows, the light in the apartment is)
1 solarium and one large closet that they like to call a den in these parts
granite countertops and stainless steel appliances
washer and dryer in the apartment
the building has 24 hour facilities that are included: a big swimming pool, a well equipped fitness center, a hot tub, concierge, big screen movie room and game/party room with a pool table.

It's also downtown, about five minutes walk from Yaletown and about 10 minutes to the buzzy Robson area and very near to a range of public transportation. Apart from the fact that we would have liked to be higher than the sixth floor, it's pretty effin' perfect.

We're meeting our new landlord at 1 PM to sign the contract and pay the deposit. Everyone, keep your fingers and toes crossed that it doesn't fall through.

I'm flying out to Palo Alto tomorrow for two weeks of amazingness and my goodness, it would be good to know we've got our long term living arrangements sorted before I get on that airplane!

You Make Your Own Home

2011-03-20T19:42:00.001+07:00

Us in front of Bang Rak District Office, Bangkok, Thailand. Photo by Piam.

On Wednesday, we fly back to the UK after almost one full year of travel. The whole trip has gone by so quickly that the closest thing I can compare it to is how I felt about Christmas when I was a kid. After Halloween the trees and lights go up and there's so much build up that when the holiday comes it feels like it's going to last forever. But it doesn't. It's gone in a blink. It's gone so quickly that if you don't take regular time out to remind yourself that this is the thing you've been dreaming about and planning for, you might just miss it altogether.

In the last eleven+ months we've been to: Phoenix, Tucson, Las Vegas, the Grand Canyon, Puerto Vallarta, Tepic, San Blas, Los Angeles, Vancouver, Ucluelet, Whistler, Calgary, Regina, Sydney, Melbourne, multiple stops along the Great Ocean Road, Tokyo, Osaka, Nara, Vientiane, Luang Prabang, Vang Vieng, Hanoi, Halong Bay, Hoi An, Palo Alto, Cha-am, Hua Hin, Chiang Mai and Bangkok. There are also probably dozens of other small stops we made - small old temple towns in Japan, mountain villages on the drive between Vancouver and Regina ... All these places, all of that distance and space and so much of it feels very much like gold dust slipping through my fingers.

The questions I get asked the most are: which places did you like the most and which places did you dislike the most. The politics of "oh, every place had its charm" aside, I definitely have answers to these questions - firm, emotional answers. Travel books like to make us think that we should fall in love with the adventure of every place, and I'm sure some people are able to do that, but I am opinionated. I know what I like and what I don't like and while I can definitely say I learned something from every where we visited, there are places that resonated with me so deeply they felt like home and other places that I felt like we were just trying to endure.

My favorite places were Laos and Japan. Laos because it was such a surprise. We landed in Vientiane expecting very little and ended up falling in love with our long, listless days of wandering the dusty streets, sharing the sidwalk with roosters (who loved to wake us up at 3 AM) and orange robed monks (who also liked to wake us up early with their chanting). It was beautiful and simple and so golden in my mind that I'm almost afraid that going back would ruin the memory.

I loved Japan for not letting me down. I had very high expectation of Japan, had been dreaming about it for years, and although it wasn't exactly as I'd imagined, it was better: the people were nicer, the cities more gleaming and surreal and the landscape more perfect.

My least favorite places were Vietnam and Mexico. Unlike with Laos, where I had no expectations, I landed in Hanoi with a whole set of ideas about what it would be like, mostly founded on my love of the Vietnamese food served up in a few restaurants in my hometown and an infatuation with a novel set there. Instead I found myself overwhelmed by cold temperatures, a heavy concrete grey and motorcycles - so many motorcycles that I felt like my head was perpetually buzzing. Culturally it was also a shock and the endless throngs of vendors selling all manner of tat were quite aggressive, often following us down the street, imploring us to "Buy something!". I'm quite certain that there's a lot more to Vietnam than I experienced, but I was quite pleased to fly out to sunny Palo Alto, with its clean air and pedestrian crossings.

I actually quite like Mexico but for the six weeks we were there, I stupidly booked us into a bungalow without air conditioning (in June and July!) or proper bug proofing. As a result, the time we spent there was without a doubt the most physically uncomfortable I have ever been in my life. Bug bites and jelly fish stings coupled with the most intense heat that I've ever experienced. More than anything, I feel like we survived our time in Mexico. It feels like an accomplishment in the way it is for people to go off into the woods for a weekend with nothing other than a rope and a knife. I will never be featured on Survivorman.

As we head back West to this place we both considered home at one time, it's a strange feeling. It doesn't feel so much like a homecoming but rather an opportunity to see people and get our affairs in order for the next big adventure. This year has taught me that I don't need a whole lot of material comforts to make me happy, I don't need a huge apartment or a big screen television and I don't need to own a stable of clothes. I think Dan and I are both ready to settle in somewhere for awhile, soak our feet and get comfortable watching the sun set from the same porch for more than a few weeks. The most surprising thing about that for me is that I don't mind too much where that porch is located.

I used to think that I had to move somewhere else to be happy. I guess this trip has made me realize that happiness is not a place, it's something that we are all responsible for bringing with us. And home is not a single location, but something that you create on the journey.

Love Letter to Japan

2011-03-12T16:14:00.003+07:00

Fuji-San

This past Autumn Dan and I were fortunate enough to spend almost two months in Japan. Dan's been there about five times before and although I'd never visited before, I've carried out a long lasting love affair with it in my head. Going into anything with high expectations is always risky but Japan was even better than I'd imagined.

The people were, almost without exception, incredibly polite and the kindness and welcome we experienced from many of the people we met there was a humbling and wonderful lesson on how to make strangers feel at ease. The landscape was stunning, the cities vibrant and all consuming and the contrast between the fast-paced modernity of urban life with the incense infused temples and shrines were a living demonstration of beautiful contradiction.

Since arriving in Bangkok last night, we've been following the news of the horrific earthquake and tsunami and have been consumed with thoughts for the people we met there and the ones we didn't. There are really no words.

Update: People from the UK, Canada and USA can find some good links directing them to where they can donate to disaster relief in Japan here.

Osaka

Kyoto

Geishas

Stunning Autumn Leaves

Bridge - Kyoto

Class Photo

Kyoto

Palace Grounds - Osaka

Feeding Wild Deer - Nara

All photos by me (except the one with the deer - that was taken by Dan).

Wintertime

2011-03-10T11:01:00.000+07:00

I grew up in a place where winter was a long hibernation that stretched from the end of October until early May, where for months everyone prefaced most conversations with "wow! it's cold out there!" and where Jack Nicholson's decent into madness in The Shining is completely relatable because we've all experienced stretches of the sense of isolation that -40 C brings, where we've felt the crazy rushing in.

Since moving to the UK, I haven't really had a proper winter. The closest thing was a one week trip to Val D'Isere, France on a snowboarding trip in January 2010. This year has been particularly void of winter as I've mostly shuttled between different countries in Asia since October (I'm currently in Thailand, where it's well into the 30 degree C mark daily). Most of the time I don't miss winter, and my friends and family who are still caught in the deep freeze would probably laugh that I, one of the biggest complainers about winter, am now complaining about missing it.

I don't miss the -40 degree stretches but I do miss snow, particularly the dry, crunchy, glittery snow so common in Saskatchewan. I miss how quiet snow makes everything feel if you go out late at night when the streets are empty. I miss the blinding light of a snowy day in Saskatchewan: the bright blue sky, the sparkling snow, the sun bouncing off the snow making the world seem hyper-lit.

I love the video above and I want to know where this massive frozen lake is. Lovely.

And yes, I realize that is a study on the concept that the grass is always greener somewhere else. It's not lost on me.

Video found via Samimi-Extremie is Boss.

Not That Kind of Girl

2011-03-05T18:26:00.001+07:00

I recently read the article Why I Left My Children by writer Rahna Reiko Rizzuto in Salon and it struck such a chord with me. Particularly these bits:

I never wanted to be a mother.

I was afraid of being swallowed up, of being exhausted, of opening my eyes one day, 20 (or 30!) years after they were born, and realizing I had lost myself and my life was over ... My problem was not with my children, but with how we think about motherhood. About how a male full-time caretaker is a "saint," and how a female full-time caretaker is a "mother." It is an equation we do not question; in fact we insist on it. And we punish the very idea that there are other ways to be a mother.

From the time I was old enough to understand where babies came from and astute enough to appreciate the dynamics of caring for a child, I knew it wasn't for me: the lack of sleep, the inability think of yourself first (or sometimes even think) and the observation that having a child is more than something people do, it's who they are (and I don't mean this in a nasty way - it seems like an inevitable part of the job description). I generally like kids and have a fondness for a few in particular - my friend Jackie's little boy Hartley is definitely on my list of very special little humans, my nephew Seth is the perfect balance of adorable, clever and mischievous, and the kids of other friends like Jaime and Kulsoom's gentle little ginger haired boy Joe. But for all this, I have never had a moment where I've thought that motherhood is something I want to do.

It's funny how people react to this news. When I was a kid and a teenager, generally people told me that I would change my mind when I grew up. The responses I tend to get now are a little bit more subtle: some people are surprised, some people are ambivalent, a very few totally get it, but there are still a surprising number of people who just don't believe me. Like this lack of desire to procreate is just a problem and we need to diagnose it properly to find a cure: is it my relationship or my job? Maybe I just don't feel financially secure enough to have kids? Or my favorite: when the time is right, I'll know and it will magically happen.

I don't know if men who don't want kids get this same kind of reaction from people, but I suspect not. Actually, I suspect men rarely even get asked the question because it is assumed that with or without children, they are living a complete life. But so many people still equate motherhood with the ultimate fulfillment a woman could possibly experience - our bodies were designed to have babies and how could we possibly go through life without wanting to be a part of this glorious miracle? If you are a woman who doesn't want kids, there must be something wrong with you. Don't believe me? Just scan some of the comments on the Salon article - a shocking number of them express thorough disgust with Rizzuto, despite that she is still actively involved in her kids lives, despite that if you believe the article, her kids are happy and well cared for, despite that she gave custody to her husband - a man who always wanted kids.

Here's a sample:

From the vitriol in some of these comments you would think that she beat them or starved them before handing them off to child abusing strangers. Nope: she went to Japan for six months before moving into a house down the block from where they live with their father, she sees them whenever they want and, it sounds like they have found a non-traditional family model that works for everyone. Would a man writing the same article get this kind of reaction about the audacity of his ego?

I am happy for my friends and family who choose to have kids, despite the fact that I may not relate entirely to the decision. And yes, there are things I'll probably miss in my life because of this choice, but there are also things I will gain: travel, freedom, the ability to put my relationship with my partner first, a greater likelihood of financial security, the ability to sleep in or stay up late, time to read and write, the ability to work when I want to work without feeling guilty ... And I refuse to accept that these things are of lesser value than the sacred calling to motherhood. I'm tired of it being implied.

So that's it world. This is my declaration to you: I do not intend to have babies and it is not because I am damaged or selfish or deluded or deranged. It is highly unlikely that I'm going to change my mind on this and believe me, I take every precaution I can to ensure it doesn't happen. And I am not sad, or lonely and I am not worried about how I'm going to feel about it when I'm 70 years old and this decision is not the result of some horrible trauma I suffered during my childhood. Please save the disproportionate pity, incredulity and sometimes outrage for someone who truly deserves it.

I think Rizzuto made a difficult decision, one that was probably more painful because of the inevitability of running up against the underlying assumption that all women should feel a calling towards motherhood - she expresses more guilt in the article about her lack of calling than her decision to give up custody of her kids. I feel sad that despite the apparent health and happiness of her children, she still feels like "a cold bitch" and that sentiment is reinforced by hundreds of hateful anonymous trolls who only underline that ladies, we actually haven't come as far in our quest for equality as we like to think we have. And to some degree, our freedom to choose is only acceptable if we are making choices within the boundaries of the socially ascribed limitations of our gender.

Friday Dance Party Featuring The Robot

2011-03-04T15:37:00.002+07:00

Bad Boy Gauguin

2011-02-27T21:46:00.000+07:00

Quelle shock!

“Paul Gauguin was a dreadful man who made some beautiful art. That’s the present take on him. In his craving for fame and fulfillment he dumped his family, bullied his friends, ripped off ideas and lied about his past. His book “Noa Noa,” which he advertised as an account of his life in Tahiti, was largely fantasy, mostly plagiarized.”

Via The Rumpus

Images of Japan

2011-02-27T21:00:00.000+07:00

I've been going through some older images that I never got around to posting online and have added a few new ones to my Japan Flickr Album. How can it already be three months since I left Japan?

This one is my favorites:

Look at all those happy tourists getting their photos taken in front of the Buddha!

And this next one is dedicated to all my Canadian friends and family who are currently in the dredges of -30 degree Celsius weather. By the end of February, it feels like you can't possibly make it through another week of hibernation. I remember it well. But spring is coming, and with it months of this kind of loveliness to look forward to:

To All The Dogs I've Loved Before

2011-02-21T18:25:00.001+07:00

I grew up in a home where we always had dogs. I never entirely related to those kids who were always begging for a puppy, because the existence of dogs as part of our every day lives was just natural to me. What do you mean you don't have a dog? How can you not have a dog?

When I was born, there were two dogs in the family. A ridiculously clownish and overweight black short-haired Dachshund named Elsa and her best friend, a small (but not teacup) buttery yellow short-haired Chihuahua named Gaby. Gaby was also overweight, due in part to her favorite food - smarties.

Those were different times. There were none of the dire warnings about feeding your dog chocolate and there was no such thing as the Dog Whisperer, dog spas or luxury doggie clothing. Despite this lack of pampering, our dogs were very much considered part of the family - fat, drooling siblings who loved unconditionally and who would never really grow up.

Although I was too young to remember, my grandmother loves to tell me the story of how Elsa adopted me on the day I came home from the hospital. On that cold February day over thirty years ago, I was sleeping in my car seat and my mom put me on the floor near the radiator - I'm from Saskatchewan, which is mind numbingly cold in the winter. When she came back a few minutes later, the fat Dachshund was laying next to me, her big head resting on my lap. Pretty much from that day forward, Elsa never left my side and would growl and bar her teeth at anyone who tried to get near me, immediate family included.

Every birthday was celebrated with a Safeway chocolate cake and the dogs were no exception. I can still picture Elsa sitting on a chair next to the kitchen table propped up on her hind legs like a gopher, a party hat on her head, waiting for her bit of cake. My childhood stories are all woven up with memories of the dogs. Gaby and the bright red cloth she loved to chase around and around, Elsa trying to dig up badger holes on our walks - her snout tar black from the dirt, Elsa hiding in the basement whenever there was a thunder storm or fireworks - me opening the door to see only the whites of her eyes as she sat in the darkness, her black coat making her almost invisible. Sometimes I would sit with her while we waited for the storm to pass.

The really horrible truth about integrating pets into your life like this is that they live such short lives. They feel as close as human beings, but their expiration date is a decade, maybe 15 years if you are really lucky. And as your years inch by slowly, theirs fast forwards until they are no longer the siblings and children you once thought of them as, but rather these little old creatures with legs that barely work, missing teeth and glossy white eyes that barely see anymore.

Elsa died when I was five and I can remember the terrible shock of it. Some people don't remember their childhood, but mine comes to me in still images that are incredibly clear. She had been chronically ill and my grandmother decided we needed to put her to sleep. I was sent off to my mother's house for the weekend, having said goodbye to Elsa one last time. It was summer and I wandered around Gladmar, a low income housing tenement that had a bit of the community feeling of Sesame Street, sobbing. I remember passing a man who was working on his motorcycle who said, "Those are some pretty big tears for such a little girl."

"Mmmm-my dddd-dog dddddied," I barely managed to snort, gasping. My heart felt truly broken and at the time, I don't think I could really imagine what it would take for the world to ever be okay again.

Gaby died a few years later, her time with us crossing with that of another dog we had named Lady - a miniature poodle we'd rescued from some people down the block who were neglecting her. All of these animals are gone now, all buried in a pet cemetery located beneath a katakana tree in the yard at our summer cottage at Regina Beach. To this day, if I see a nice stone laying on the ground, I sometimes pick it up and send it to my grandmother so she can add it to the collection of rocks that mark the graves of the pets we loved so much.

I am writing this because yesterday I found out that my grandparent's 14 year old tiny poodle Janie died. She had been sick for a long time and it was no surprise to hear the news but still incredibly sad. We got Janie the summer after I graduated from high school and I think for my grandparents, who were now living with only each other, she came to represent the children and grandchildren that had moved out into the world. My grandfather in particular adored her. This rather gruff man could now be seen walking his obscenely tiny dog around the neighborhood in her pink jumper, at meals he would talk to her and feed her scraps off his own plate.

Now in their late seventies, I doubt my grandparents will ever get another dog. They would be too afraid that it wouldn't be properly cared for if anything ever happened to them.

When I think back on my life, the animals that have been a part of our family feel as central to my memories as the people. They were my best friends, they protected me and showed concern whenever I cried, they were always waiting excitedly for me when I came home and they taught me an incredible lesson about loss and risk. When you decide to get a dog you know, almost certainly, that it will die long before you will and that you will have to watch it age and care for it when it is ill. But most of us decide to go ahead anyway because it's worth it. It's cheesy, but I think love always is.

New Template

2011-02-20T16:34:00.002+07:00

Things have changed around here a little bit. The template is new and I'm proud to say that I did it all by myself - no easy feat given my limited HTML skillz.

In addition to the makeover, I've also added a few items to the menu to help pull out some of the themes that tend to come up here again and again: Marketing/Web Think, Photography and Stuff I Like. Those pages are still pretty ugly and way too long, so that's on my future to do list. I've also added a link to my professional Portfolio site have have put a few new things in the Book Shop.

Lastly, I've updated my About page. It's a little bit less long winded. Just a little though.

Thanks for all the birthday wishes last week.

x

Birthday Party

2011-02-17T15:31:00.004+07:00

Tomorrow is my birthday so I made this mix as a celebratory gift to you lovely people. I hope you'll have a listen, a fancy cocktail and bust a move - even if it's only in spirit. I'll be in Chiang Mai, Thailand enjoying the sunshine.

Thanks to all the friends, family, supporters and clients who have made this year - one that started off a little rough - so absolutely wonderful. I am one lucky gal.

x

Oh No You Dint Pepsi!

2011-02-13T12:07:00.005+07:00

Can we chat about the new Pepsi 'skinny' can that was just launched as part of New York Fashion week?

In the past few years Pepsi has been trying to differentiate itself from Coke (who we all know is eeevil) by doing nice things like the Pepsi Refresh Project. Yeah okay, like when McDonald's is the official sponsor of the Olympic games there is something a little bit disingenuous about this, but even so the effort has seen millions of dollars go into the hands of people working at community level to make a difference in their cities and towns. Big companies are almost always going to have a public image, publicity-driven motive for doing these kinds of things, but that's generally something most consumers are willing to overlook if the results are good.

The slogan for the Refresh Project is: "This year what will you refresh?" Well Pepsi, for starters:

I would like to see more realistic looking body types (male and female) in the fashion and entertainment industry so the rest of us aren't continually bombarded by the ridiculous notion that our ability to disappear when turning sideways is more important than our health.
I would like healthy, fresh food to be as readily available and affordable to low income communities as sugar and chemical laden convenience options that have become the cornerstone of the Western diet.
I would like the FDA to actually ban products like Aspartame that have been demonstrated to cause brain tumors in rats and were only approved for human consumption in the first place because of shady back room deals.
I would like you to fire the horribly confused executive who thought to create the 'Skinny Can' and launch it during a cornerstone event for an industry in which women regularly starve themselves (many have died) to fit this odd ideal that is meant to make us want to buy clothes (and drink zero calorie drinks apparently).
I would like you to revisit the content strategy that made you think it was okay to use terms like 'Get the Skinny' and the assertion that this idiotic PR stunt has anything to do with the "celebration of beautiful, confident women." 'Get the skinny' is so cliche that it hurts, never mind the hypocrisy and falseness of the message.

I can only imagine how much money Pepsi spends on marketing and on employing clever people to build their brand. And I wonder, who their target audience is for this campaign? What mass demographic of your consumers are you trying to speak to with this?

Is Pepsi getting attention for this? Yes. Is it the kind of attention that will endear them to their consumers or help to move their brand forward - further differentiating them from the Coke monster? No.

What the eff Pepsi? This campaign is like bad plastic surgery. It just makes you look ... weird.

Image Credits: Pepsi Can from Grist, Skeletor Model from Hanistan, Donatella Versace from Pictures Chat.

Thailand Photos

2011-02-09T10:58:00.000+07:00

More pictures on Flickr.

Photos from Vietnam

2011-02-07T21:27:00.000+07:00

I've posted more on Flickr, but these are the best ones.

They turned out a lot better than I was expecting. I really disliked Vietnam: the grey skies, the chaos on the street, the honking, the scammers ... The photos make it look much nicer than was my experience. It's strange how the memory of a place sometimes doesn't connect with the experience.

Three Little Birds

2011-02-06T17:33:00.002+07:00

I am not a reggae fan but this song has been with me all week. Though I probably hadn't heard it in months, maybe years since looking for it on Youtube today, it is the first thing that pops into my head when I wake up in the morning lately. Bob Marley, what are you doing in my head?

On a related note, the day before yesterday a bird took a crap on my face. We were walking down the street in Cha-am around noon and out of nowhere I had oozing green warm splatter running down the side of my head. Luckily the little bugger missed my hair. Anyhow, according to my Twitter buddies, somehow a bird crapping on your face is meant to foretell good luck.

Three little birds + bird crap + Twitter = obviously a good omen? Yes, I realize the connection is tenuous and none of it really 'means' anything, but I'm prepared to suspend my disbelief for awhile and believe the ghost of Marley knows a little something that I'm not privy to yet.

And yes. I know that makes me a little crazy. Chalk it up to mild sun stroke.

Also. Tomorrow is our last day in Cha-am. On Tuesday morning we are catching a bus at some ungodly hour of the morning to take us north to Chiang Mai. I've enjoyed the mellow vibe by the sea, but I'm ready to move on to somewhere with amenities and hopefully a swimming pool because I'm afraid of jelly fish.

Chiang Mai or Koh Samui?

2011-02-02T13:46:00.000+07:00

We're still holed up in Cha-am, taking in the sea every day and enjoying cooking in our little kitchen. No word on whether the US visa will come through yet, so at the moment we're just enjoying paradise, reading, writing and catching up on some client work. Lurvely.

Cha-am is a pretty basic little place - fairly sleepy - but the sea is warm and only about a two minute walk from our flat. Our rental is up on Monday and then we're thinking of heading to either Koh Samui or Chiang Mai where we'll look to rent a place for a few weeks to a month. We've been offered a small house on Koh Samui for $350 for a month, excluding internet and electricity. There also appears to be a lot of properties available in Chiang Mai though, so we're a bit torn on whether we should head North or South.

Koh Samui is an island so it means beaches and swimming. But the rental isn't super cheap, I don't know how fast the Internet will be (kind of necessary in our line of work), I'm not certain how modern the amenities in the house will be, and from what I can tell there isn't a lot of public transport on the island. Still, paradise.

Chiang Mai is a big city in the North and its supposed to be lovely - in the way Northern Laos was lovely only with more modern conveniences. There seems to be reams of apartments and houses for rent there at fairly reasonable rates and it all looks very modern and comfortable. There's also a lot of wildlife around the Northern region - elephants and monkeys - and generally I think it's a bit less touristy because no ocean (positive and negative).

What would you do?

Images: Koh Samui from Photographs-Asia and Chiang Mai from Wikipedia.

La Mer

2011-01-30T15:18:00.001+07:00

I've had a strange few weeks. I've jumped time zones as though the act of leaping across continents was as simple as a game of hop scotch. I've seen wonderful things and met people who are kind and inspiring. And in recent days I've also found my way back to the sea.

We are currently in Cha-am, Thailand, a little holiday place filled with mostly young Thai families who have come here to get out of the city and old Scandinavian people, many of whom probably spend months of their year here (at least it would appear so given the orange brown tint and leathery texture of their skin). It's not as pristine as the island resorts further south with their aqua marine water but it is relaxed and the sun shines and the people are mostly friendly. I've been interspersing sleeping and reading with trips down to play in the sea shore (which is right across the street from our guest house, we have a sea view). The water here isn't quite as warm as it was in Mexico, but it's pretty close. Over the past few days it's been a bit windy and we've spent our time jumping over waves, gasping and sputtering as we climb out with salty lips and tangled hair.

We're not sure how long we're going to stay down here. Tomorrow morning we're looking at a little condo that's available - slightly over our budget but we're desperate to settle down in a place with a kitchen and some privacy. Neither of us have felt like we've really been anywhere long enough to unpack since Laos. I would love to not have to eat out for the next week and there's a Tesco Lotus in a nearby town where we can stock up on everything we want. Dan even found Branston Pickle today, albeit for more than we would pay for it in the UK.

The alternative to staying here for another week is heading North to Chiang Mai and Chiang Rai, which both sound like lovely, easy places but with no sea. I imagine them to be a more modern version of Laos.

I arrived in Bangkok only a few days ago after my 48 hour jaunt to California. My interview was such a good experience and everyone was so genuinely kind and clever. If the Visa gods smile down on me, I would be a fool to not seize the opportunity to do such interesting work at such a great company. Time will tell.

The above picture of me was taken by Dan when we were in Versailles, France in February 2009. I stumbled upon it in an old folder today and couldn't help but look at that girl and wonder a bit who she was. When I was in Vancouver this past summer, I read Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking and as I reflect back on this year of flux, reinvention, growth and change, I can't help but feel like I've been afforded this wonderful slot of time in which I've been able to re-imagine my life, my professional practice, my passions, my art. And although I didn't have to suffer the kind of horrible loss that sparked Didion's year of magical thinking, the experience of travel is also one of always leaving something behind: a shoe, a book, an elastic band ... and along with these things, the sadness inherent in the realization that nothing will ever be exactly the same again. Laos will never feel like it did those few beautiful weeks in December, just like Versailles will never be the same crisp, colorful place it was during that beautiful and delicate weekend in February 2009 - and I'll never be the same either.

I used to cry about this on birthdays when I was a kid. I would have a wonderful day and then get into bed and sob for the year that was gone and that would never be again. And my god, when they play that horrible Auld Lang Sine song at New Years it slays me; and Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas by Judy Garland. All songs about time and loss woven into our precious celebratory moments to remind us that the time is slipping by far more quickly than we can possible realize.

But the sea feels constant and restorative and the daily act of allowing it to toss us around makes waiting for the next change much, much easier. It's like an hour glass, slowly washing everything clean.

Music Will Save Your Life

2011-01-21T13:45:00.002+07:00

I'm feeling a little blue today kittens.

It's our last full day in Vietnam. Tomorrow morning we fly from Hoi An to Hanoi and then Dan is off to Thailand and I am heading to California. I'm excited about the next week and happy to be leaving this country behind me, but there's also this wistful nostalgia mixed up with everything. Something that I can't quite pin down.

I love this beautiful video and song though. And the strange cover songs being played in this Hoi An cafe where we're biding our time today.

PS: Vietnam has found a way to block our work-around to access Facebook, so I'll be absent there for a few days.

Carrie's Roses

2011-01-13T17:24:00.000+07:00

During the month of August we stayed at a friend's house in Vancouver while she went on her honeymoon. The sweet little house was surrounded by the most beautiful roses I've ever seen outside of a florist shop. They were tended to by the old eastern European couple next door, who regarded me as something peculiar for taking photos of the flowers one morning after a rain storm.

These remind me of what an easy, lovely month we had in Canada.

Recent Loves

2011-01-12T15:44:00.001+07:00

The India Song Photo Series by Karen Knorr for her amazing use of color:

The film Black Swan for being equal parts creepy, disturbing and beautiful:

The Poetry of Mary Ruefle for making my imagination gurgle.

Speak, Zero
There was a morning bowl of cereal
and we sugared it
Then mother took the bowl away
Then mother took the bowl

Years of which I have no time

One by one they reached into the sea
and took the lightkeepers out of the lighthouses
Then they took the lighthouses out of the sea

Thus the world falls back on its original plan

The dolls washed up on shore not far from here
and the wild horses who come and lick their faces

There is nothing definite about you
but you happen in detail

From finches we take feathers for our hats
From us they take hair for their nests.

The one veritable transitory power
is your right to hide

And despite the early hour, the papaya was empty
neatly scraped, never slept in

Nothing clarifies the mind like a death sentence

Because reading is a kind of sleep
and sleep a kind of music

Yet I'm crazy for your incredibly purple face,
the way you keep seeds in your pocket

Hoi An - The Tailoring Capital of the World

2011-01-12T12:10:00.000+07:00

We're currently in Hoi An, about mid-way down the coast of Vietnam. We've been in this country for a week and a half and it was not love at first sight. After the lovely trickle of life in Louang Prabang, Hanoi felt a bit like being dropped into a furious ant hill. People piled on top of one another, endless noise, crazy traffic, people pushing, shop keepers following us down the street trying to get us to buy any number of Hanoi t-shirts and fake war memorabilia. Also, I managed to have my wallet stolen less than 24 hours in.

It wasn't for us.

So we high tailed it out of town and spent a night on a junk ship on Halong Bay. The area was stunning and I really enjoyed the experience of sleeping on a ship, anchored out in the water, but the weather was cold and there were rats in the walls. Then we were back for one more night in Hanoi before catching the sleeper train south to Hoi An.

It's been unseasonably cold in Vietnam since we arrived, which has been okay because it makes it easier to focus on work rather than on going to the beach. Hanoi was only getting up to about 8 degrees during the day and Hoi An, a bit warmer, sits in the high teens (celcius). The heat isn't such a big deal, but it's also been cloudy and rainy, which makes for wet, muddy roads and the sensation of wanting to do little other than curl up under the blankets with a book and a cup of tea.

Hoi An is beautiful. It's an ancient town and at night, the old centre is lit up with hundreds of lanterns. I'll post pictures soon, but it is really very special. The town is split in the middle by a river and is located out on a kind of peninsula on the sea. It's a strange mixture of very old Vietnamese people who don't speak English and live a very quiet life working their fields or selling their crafts, and all the tourists who've come here to get clothing made on the cheap. Because that's really what Hoi An is known for: in this town of just over 100,000 people, there are over 600 tailor shops all vying business.

Pretty much all of the tailors work out of shops where they've got a range of samples on display. You can go in and buy something off the rack or ask them to adjust any garment for you - or you can go in with a sketch or some images and get them to make something from scratch. Prices vary from store to store and I'm told that the work quality isn't consistent between them, but you can generally get a basic custom dress for just over $10. There are also dozens of shoe shops and again, you can either buy off the shelves or get them to make you a pair of shoes.

On the 22nd of this month I'm being flown to California for a job interview with a hugely exciting company (hint: rhymes with schmasebook) and given that I've spent the last nine months living out of a suitcase, I'm a little lacking in appropriate outfits in the 'business casual' category. Since I can't possibly turn up in flip flops and a floor length hippie skirt, I'm planning to have something made here within the next few days, which is exciting because I don't think I've ever owned a custom made outfit before! I want something simple, comfortable, not too serious and with a bit of personality - something I can wear again.

Last spring at Target I saw a simple little dress by Massimo (pictured on the left, below) and one of the shops here has a similar pattern. Instead of the tank top though, I'm going to get them to add 3/4 length sleeves, with a slight poof at the shoulders (I seriously love a poof!).

Images from: Target, The Fashion Police, Sugarscape and Picassa. Image of Hoi An by Viajar24h.

Goodbye to Lovely Laos

2011-01-02T21:22:00.000+07:00

Tomorrow morning we fly out of Luang Prabang down to Vientiane where we will catch our flight to Hanoi. Walking around today I couldn't help but feel sad that we're leaving. It's so beautiful here and we've allowed ourselves to get completely caught up in it - it's been like having an extended vacation in what must be one of the most beautiful places in the world.

I have so much gratitude for the wonderful people here and feel so lucky to have had this time.

All photos by me.

Welcome to 2011

2011-01-01T14:08:00.000+07:00

It's beautiful, sunny New Years day in Luang Prabang, Laos. Yesterday we ended the year with a 34 kilometer bike ride (up mountains) that almost finished us off, a stop in a hill tribe village to take polaroids of the kids and leave them as gifts (they were amazed!), a wander through some of the most beautiful waterfalls I've ever seen, a visit to an Asiatic bear sanctuary, a lovely meal, watching dozens of handmade paper lanterns float up into the night sky, and a count down at the stunningly beautiful local bar Utopia. It was pretty much the most perfect way to end the year and I couldn't have dreamed up anything better.

We stumbled home along the river, slightly tipsy and a little bit achey from our bike ride, but happily calling out "Sabaidee Pi Mai", which means happy new years in Laotian, to passersby and settled into our little room for a long sleep. This morning I was briefly woken up by the resident rooster and then again around 9 am by the sound of monks chanting across the street. Then a nice brunch next to the river.

Dan and I have discussed resolutions a lot this New Years and I think I've narrowed mine down to a few basic shifts in behavior that can mostly be boiled down to mindfulness:

I want to eat less meat and when I do eat it, I want to be more conscious of what it is I'm consuming. I love animals and in a country like Laos, where water buffalo wander out into the street, and chickens are part of the community, it's much harder to divorce what I'm eating from the idea of a living, breathing animal. I just want to be more responsible and aware of what I'm putting into my body and the impact that has on the world.
No more pop for me. It's bad and filled with nasty chemicals and I don't need it in my body.
I want to do a better job of letting things go and spend less of my time dwelling on people and things that make me unhappy. There are so many wonderful things in the world - I don't want to waste any more time on negativity or on trying to work out the motivations of other people. I would like to master the art of throwing up my hands and walking away (in a good way).
I want to do a better job of really committing to my creative writing practice. Setting tangible goals seems like an important things to do so here's mine: 5,000 words a week creative writing. Doesn't matter what it is, doesn't matter if it's any good, what matters is that I put in the time.
Be more mindful of how I'm spending my time and do a better job of setting hard daily goals so that I spend less time floating around the internet without any direction.
Move my body more. The bike ride yesterday was hard and I don't know that I'll be doing 30+ km uphill on a regular basis, but it felt good to by physically active. I want to spend more time walking, swimming, biking ... I don't want exercise to be something I need to go to a gym to do, but something that is just part of how I live my life. When I see the kids running around here playing, I'm reminded that our natural state is to move through the world and to take pleasure in doing it. I want to remember what it's like to enjoy my physicality.
Career wise, I want to keep moving forward, keep feeling excited and inspired by what I'm doing and continue to surround myself with passionate, creative people. We started Contentini: Content Strategists this year and it's been more successful than I could have imagined (thanks clients!). I've done a lot of thinking and writing about web content - something I'm passionate about - and have had some great responses. The idea of content strategy as a professional focus is still relatively new and I am beyond excited to see how it evolves over the next year and how my own practice will change with it.

I hope you all had a peaceful and joyous New Years and that you're as excited for the year ahead as I am. We've got another few days in this country that I've fallen completely in love with and on January 3rd we fly to Hanoi, Vietnam. I will be sad to leave Laos and I'm always a little nervous when visiting a new country but really, I couldn't be in a better place to enter 2011.

Reverb 10 - Photo

2010-12-26T12:24:00.001+07:00

Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.

I like this photo because I look happy in a caught off guard sort of way. There's no contrived smile or posing (apart from the Japanese peace sign thing they always do in photos) and I feel like it captures a moment of real happiness. And yes, of course I want to loose myself more and more in moments of unabashed smiling happiness!

Dan took the photo and I think we were at the Meiji Shrine in Tokyo, Japan.

The Merry Christmas Edition - Reverb 10 - Everything's Okay

2010-12-25T11:40:00.000+07:00

What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?

Now.

It's Christmas morning and I am sitting in a little coffee shop in Vientiane, Laos. A gigantic faux fireplace has been built up the wall and cheesy holiday music is blasting out of the speakers. The sun is shining, we slept well last night, my bug bites are healing, I have enough to eat, Die Hard I and II are on the television later tonight (yippie kai aye!), I'm excited about my life, I count a group of wonderful people as friends and family, we've actually found a pub that is doing a 'real' Christmas dinner where we'll be heading later today, and I feel such gratitude.

I am a lucky girl and as I spend more time in this beautiful country, with people who have very little but who are still so warm and joyful, it's hard not to realize that this notion of 'alrightness' is a bit of a luxury. Most of the people here are too busy trying to find enough to eat, working insanely long days, trying to support their families and trying to overcome the health problems that are intertwined with poverty. And I'm sitting in a Western style coffee house pondering the degree to which I think everything is going to be alright for me.

All I can hope is that I never become someone who forgets my incredible fortune: I am healthy, I have resources at my disposal, I have love. I don't know what will happen tomorrow, but in this moment, on Christmas morning, everything is beautifully, perfectly alright.

As I child, I used to cry my eyes out on Christmas night, grieving because the day was over and because even though I knew it would come around again in a year, it would never, ever be exactly the same. Even as a five or six year old, I felt time slipping away too quickly and it broke my heart. I still feel that way sometimes. Every time we leave a place, I find myself wondering if we'll ever be there again and if we are, what it will feel like. I think the holidays must make a lot of people feel this way - so many Christmas shows and songs are so sad and wistful. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas by Judy Garland, Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer stop motion cartoon (poor misfit toys!), Miracle on 34th Street, It's A Beautiful Life ... Frosty the Snowman is basically a symbol for our mortality... and let's not forget the Peanuts Christmas special, which always makes me cry.

This is all to say that I think it's important to do less crying over the passage of time and spend more time feeling grateful for every moment. And that's what I'm going to carry with me into the next year.

Merry Christmas everyone!

x

Happy Holidays!

2010-12-24T21:46:00.001+07:00

Reverb 10 - Travel

2010-12-24T14:57:00.000+07:00

How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?

I am on an around the world trip and have been living like a gypsy since May 1st. London - Scottsdale - Las Vegas - Puerto Vallarta - San Blas - Los Angeles - Vancouver - Ucluelet - Vancouver - Whistler - Revelstoke - Calgary - Regina - Calgary - Revelstoke - Vancouver - Sydney - Melbourne - Great Ocean Road - Melbourne - Sydney - Tokyo - Osaka - Bangkok - Vientiane ....

Next up: Louang Prabang - Hanoi - Halong Bay - maybe Southern Vietnam - Bangkok - Koh Lanta and the Southern Thai islands - Chiang Mai - Chiang Rai and maybe back to Laos.

You can read more about my travels on my other website, A Tramp Abroad.

Reverb 10 - Future Self

2010-12-23T12:35:00.001+07:00

Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead?

Trust your instincts.
Make time for books, films, kissing, swimming, hand holding and sunset watching. Contrary to what some people might tell you, these things are priority.
Try to get better at sleeping. It's important and you really need to work on improving your skill set in this area.
Stop obsessing about circumstances outside of your control. Learn how to be better at letting things go.
Laugh more and stop taking yourself quite so seriously.
Make time for play.
Complain less and be better at really acknowledging how lucky you are.
There is no such thing as being too nice. Be mindful of kindness and how transformative small actions can be.
Wear bug spray when you are outside, unless you're in Iceland, Antarctica or Saskatchewan during the winter time.
Keep it light enough to travel.

Reverb 10 - Avoidance

2010-12-22T21:00:00.001+07:00

What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: will you do it?)

Coulda, shoulda, woulda. Whatever.

Now if the heart of this question is about procrastination then I'd answer that I'd like to do less avoiding of writing, reading and moving my body around the world with purpose (also known as exercise). But I don't regret one wasted moment this year.

Best Reads of 2010 List

2010-12-22T13:53:00.002+07:00

Inspired by the brilliant AYear in Reading Series on The Millions, I thought I'd make my own list of the reading that captured me most this year.

Best Reads
The Little Stranger by Sarah Waters | Everything Ravaged, Everything Burned by Wells Tower | Cool Water by Dianne Warren | One Room in a Castle by Karen Connelly | Last Night in Montreal by Emily St John Mandel |

Books I Most Wanted to Read But They Weren't Available on my Kindle (or were ridiculously priced)
A Visit from the Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan | The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Sloot | Memento Mori by Muriel Sparks | February by Lisa Moore | The Gang the Wouldn't Write Straight: Wolfe, Thompson, Didion, Capote and the New Journalism Revolution by Marc Weingarten | The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery | Autobiography of Mark Twain, Vol.1 by Mark Twain |

Blogs I Discovered (and subsequently fell in love with)
Frances Farmer is My Sister | What Possessed Me | Italics Mine | Isak | Collection A Day | Maud Newton | Notes from Somewhere Bizarre | Style Rookie | The Rumpus | Samimi Extremie Is Boss | A Lot of Wind |

Favorite Book Related Technology
Although it will never replace the experience of a real book (and I have some issues with quality and book pricing), the Kindle has made it infinitely easier for me to read while traveling | Runner up is without a doubt Instapaper. It has single handedly made me fall in love with reading long from journalism again.

What were your favorite reads and new discoveries from 2010?

Image from Wet Behind the Ears

Reverb 10 - Lessons Learned, Try and Healing

2010-12-21T13:01:00.000+07:00

Lesson Learned: What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?

When you spend an entire year traveling, when you have no real home, when all your earthly possessions fit inside one suitcase, when you have no nine to five job or office politics to contend with, when you're relatively healthy, when you learn words in a new language every few month in order to communicate in your new country, when you go from summer to spring to winter and back to summer again in a matter of a few months, when your friends and family are continents away: you learn that you can't blame unhappiness on anything apart from yourself and that it's up to you to deal with the ghosts that follow you across the world. You learn that its okay to be sad one minute and happy the next and that life is always challenging but that there are rewards that you never dreamed were possible. You are reminded that stuff matters very little in life and that you probably didn't need all the dresses, kitchen appliances or Ikea furniture. You learn about self-sufficiency and wonder and loneliness and gratitude.

I will never forget this year or the lessons I've learned. They're a part of me and it would be impossible for me to push forward into the next year without continuing to hold them very close.

Try: What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn’t go for it?

Eat street food in Vietnam | Visit Halong Bay | Sit on an abandoned tropical beach and swim in the ocean | Write more stories | Go scuba diving | See elephants and monkeys in the wild | Get married | Write more | Read more | Snowboarding or Skiing | Visit Nepal | Spend time at a cabin with no Internet | Develop more technical photography skills | Doodle and draw | Get back into running | Swim. A lot. |

I wanted to do a lot in 2010. I did some of the things I'd hoped - an astonishing number of the things I'd hoped actually. The biggest thing was quitting our jobs, selling our stuff and setting out to travel for a year. It was a bit scary - especially the idea of rootlessness - and entering 2010, I'm not sure if I believed we'd actually do it. But we did and it's been the most transforming experience of my life.

Healing: What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?

I've had the space and time this year to think about how I feel about things and why and to explore all of this through writing, photography and in a number of other personal ways. I've always been a fast moving person - always planning for the next thing, always thinking, always doing and worrying. This year, with so many variables outside of my control, I been forced into a quieter space. I feel like I'm leaving this year with a much stronger sense of who I am than when I entered it.

As for how I want to be healed in 2011? I'm not great at letting things go and I hold onto bad experiences and hurts for a long time. I'd like to be able to let some of that baggage go and to learn to filter out the negativity much earlier in the process.

Oh, and I'd also like to avoid any kind of bug biting interactions if at all possible. Amen.

Photo by me - Vientiane, Laos River Construction

Reverb 10 - Friendship

2010-12-20T20:58:00.000+07:00

How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?

My oldest friend Vanessa, who sends me hilarious email updates from her adventures working in the non-profit sector and traveling in South America and Cuba, has taught me that sometimes laughing in the face of intolerable circumstances is the best approach to a problem.
My closest lady friend Jackie teaches me that you don't have to be in the same city (or continent) as someone to keep in touch and let them know that you care. She's also an amazing writer, insightful reader and just about my favorite person to have drinks with.
My newest friends Stacie and Scott teach me how nice it is to have people in your life who take the time to be supportive and encouraging. They are two of the most generous people I've met.
My friend Carrie taught me that I need to do a better job keeping in touch with people who matter to me. We hadn't seen each other in years until this summer and I was struck by how much I missed her.
My friend Ali reminds me of the importance of making time for girl dates - particularly if they involve tea and cake.
My mother, who in her 50s found the courage to completely transform her life, teaches me that it's never too late to take back your life and make it wonderful; and her sister, my Auntie Denise, who always manages to send me encouraging notes when I need them the most, reminds me that small acts of kindness can mean an awful lot.
Though I haven't seen my friends Miranda and Lindsay for years, the crazy funny Facebook updates about their adventures in higher education make me realize that some friendships can sustain years of distance. If we were ever in the same city, I think we'd have drinks, laugh our faces off and it wouldn't feel like there'd been a gap.
My friend Kate who passed away suddenly this year reminds me to appreciate every fleeting moment of my life.
My friend Gaynor reminds me of how cathartic it is to have a good, long catch up talk.
My friend Michelle teaches me that sometimes the best way to show strength is to have a soft heart and allow yourself to cry until you can't cry anymore.
My friend Crystal reminds me that sometimes, even though it hurts, the only thing left to do is to let go.
My best friend and fiance Dan reminds me that we don't have to enact the same male/female relationships and structures we were raised with. We can do something different and better and we can actually be happy.

Reverb 10 - 5 Minutes

2010-12-20T16:22:00.002+07:00

Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.

The realization that there are multiple ways to live my life and to not let fear stop me from choosing an unconventional path.

What it is like to live in physical discomfort and to use it as a reminder for being empathetic to others who will likely always live their lives feeling hungry, too cold, too hot, sick, bitten by bugs and afraid.

How warm and salty the ocean was in San Blas and how the pelicans flying overhead looked prehistoric.

Our beautiful afternoon in Manly, Australia and how, if I was ever wealthy, I would want a cottage there, overlooking the sea.

Seeing penguins, koalas, kangaroos and wallabies in the wild.

The stunning and solitary drive through the rocky mountains between Whistler and Lake Louise and imagining how hard it must have been for people to build the highway that runs through it.

Paco.

Kate.

Carrie May and Michael's wedding - and all the new and different ways it made me think about marriage.

Playing with my nephew Seth and hearing him talk for the first time.

The freedom and exhilaration I felt on May 1st, as we were leaving London to begin our journey.

My happiness with Dan.

The view from the Tokyo Hyatt at night.

Feeding the wild deer in Nara, Japan.

What it was like living in a house for a month with two kids under the age of three - and the recognition of how hard it must be to deal with that every day.

The sun setting over the Mekong.

Cooking in our impossibly tiny Japanese kitchen in Tokyo.

The Arizona desert and the way the sky looked at night.

The relief of writing a complete short story after a long dry spell.

The Buddhist monks in their bright orange robes, riding around Vientiane in tuk tuks.

Photo of my and a kitten, taken in Vientiane by Dan.

Mekong Sunset

2010-12-19T14:35:00.001+07:00

Last night we sat on a roof top bar and watched the sun set over the Mekong River. I suppose I have pollution to thank for it, but it was stunning.

Reverb 10 - Appreciate

2010-12-19T14:01:00.000+07:00

What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?

The problem with this and so many other questions like this is that it assumes that we can sort our experiences into neat little packages. While the obsessive compulsive in me likes the idea, it's an arbitrary exercise. Life is not like a logic problem in high school and to try to pretend that it is possible to roll the complex, nuanced experiences of our lives into "the one things you have come to appreciate" is kind of ridiculous.

I've had an amazing year and I'm not willing to single out one thing. But here's a sampling:

soft sheets
the ability to travel the world relatively cheaply
laap, vegetable pakora, garlic naan, gyoza, nachos, summer rolls, good cheese and bread, fresh vegetables and fruit, and Trifon's Pizza
an internet connection
air conditioning
the kindness of strangers
the love and encouragement of friends and family
that my suitcase has wheels
that I have the ability to mostly choose the course of my life, unlike millions and millions of other women in the world
calamine lotion and tea tree oil
life changing great books like Wells Tower's Everything Ravaged, Everything Burned
being able to work on projects I'm excited about with people who respect me
not being in a city that is creatively, physically or emotionally stifling
bug spray and bug proof lodgings
that creative work still fulfills me and that I have the luxury of making time for it
relative good health
cold beer on hot days
overnight flights that don't have screaming babies
the smell of a campfire or barbecue
Japanese politeness
the Mekong River at sunset
my partner who is infinitely patient, kind, generous and who brings out the best in me; and who I still like kissing
the smell of rain and clean laundry
wild horses running down the beach in Mexico
strange desert creatures - like Javalinas - and the night sky in rural areas of Arizona
a quiet, cool, dark room to sleep
swimming
flushing toilets
cool night prairie air
people like Maggie Doyne who are saving lives every single say
'magic hour' light
the distinct lack of divas in my life at the moment

I express gratitude for these things by trying my best to say 'please' and 'thank you' and by trying to take moments out to breath deeply and recognize how lucky I continue to be.

Photo of me in Vientiane, Laos taken by Dan.

Reverb 10 - Action

2010-12-18T12:45:00.000+07:00

When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step?

The lovely Friday Films answered this prompt more cleverly and thoughtfully then I could. I totally agree with her. So instead of making more noise over here, just head on over and read her post:

What is this new obsession with ideas and making things happen? When did a nice way of delving into the hearts and minds of regular people turn into a rat race for some hazy, distant prize of...what? I’m still trying to figure this out. Is it money? Fame? Recognition? It’s not enough that we get to live a life largely without constant hunger, pain, grief or hopelessness – we want our big fat future reward too. We want a trophy that will prove to ourselves, and to those around us, that this life of ours really means something.

Photos: Friday and me, last new years.

Reverb 10 - Body Integration

2010-12-18T12:23:00.001+07:00

This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?

Well, given that I've not yet reached nirvana (cough!) I don't know that I can pin point a moment when I felt like "a cohesive me, alive and present." Ignoring the poncey assumptions and language in this prompt ... which is hard ... the most integrated I've felt with my body this year was in Mexico. We spent six weeks there during the height of summer in a small, buggy, hot bungalow in San Blas. Bugs were feeding on us day and night, the heat was like being trapped under a wet blanket - with a hot steamer blowing underneath - and the rains were intense, flooding the little road we were located on so that for days we had to wade ankle deep through muddy water to get out of our little compound. I can remember washing out laundry by hand, dripping in sweat; I can remember being itchy; I can remember wanting to take the two hour bus journey to Tepic just because it was air conditioned and despite the motion sickness the bad roads would cause, at least I would feel cool for a few hours. I remember not being able to properly fall asleep until sunrise because I was so afraid of the giant spiders, millipedes and cockroaches crawling on me in the darkness. And I remember the few wonderful nights when the wind would pick up and cooler breeze would come in off the sea, and we would lay there on top of our sheets, feeling finally, mercilessly like we weren't crawling out of our skin.

It sounds horrible but it was actually wonderful to be so present, to have my anxieties reduced to worrying about the heat, my bad stomach and the bugs. I could sense the slightest breeze picking up, the most subtle drop or rise in temperature ... I was grateful when an itchy mosquito bite would suddenly feel cool under the tea tree oil I'd applied. Although I would never want to experience it again, I recognize that the luxuries of my life are designed to keep me apart from physical experiences. I put up barriers between myself and discomfort and sickness so that I can ignore my physicality.

I would be reluctant to trade away my physical comforts, but I learned a lot about myself during those long hot weeks in San Blas.

Image: San Blas Palm Trees by me.

Reverb 10 - 11 Things

2010-12-17T14:43:00.000+07:00

What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

1. Passive aggressive behavior. Seriously, let's call shit out rather than beat around the bush. Things are much simpler that way.

2. Bug bites. Something about me is like sweet candy to all flesh eating insects. Given that I'm likely spending the next five months in tropical (read: buggy) South East Asia, it might be hard to eliminate this without destroying the ecosystem of the region, but I do intend to invest heavily in DEET.

3. Excessive procrastination. I don't know why I'm so tempted to put off doing things that I love. Like writing. I've got dozens of story ideas swimming around in my head and while I note them down, I rarely make the necessary time to actually write. I don't know why I'm so inclined to do this but I am going to try schedule time in to do the things that matter to me as I've realized that I work best with a bit of structure.

4. Doing work that I don't love. Yes, there are bills to be paid (or guesthouse rooms to be rented in our case) but I've been lucky this year. I've found that it is possible to achieve a really lovely balance between doing the things I'm passionate about and getting paid for it. We spend so much of our lives working - I want to do work that motivates me with people who are excited and talented. Whether I'm working in a bakery or continuing with the web consulting work I've been doing, I vow to love it or leave it.

5. Frenemies and people who make me feel sad, inadequate or overly competitive. This year I'm going to invest more time taking care of the relationships that are encouraging, positive and mutual and a bit less time worrying about the other people. I wish them well, but I am also officially letting them go.

6. My addiction to technology and obsession with always being connected. As I wrote about here, I love technology and as someone who is location independent I rely on it to keep in touch with friends, family and clients. But I want to do a better job of managing the time I devote to it so that I feel more in control and less like I'm obsessed.

7. Physical lethargy. Although I've done and seen more this year then in any other year of my life, I've felt physically quite tired and rather unmotivated to move my body. I live in my head and I have trouble pulling myself out to go for a run, do yoga, or swim. I've been healthy and have had no more than one cold all year, but I feel tired and my muscles are tense from not being used enough. I want to use this body more.

8. People pleasing. It's not that I don't want to make people happy in 2011, but I want to stop worrying about making people happy.

9. The intense desire to control 'what's next'. I've gotten better in this regard during 2010 in part because when traveling you quickly learn that there are a number of things you can do absolutely nothing about. The bus might be late, the tuk tuk driver might rip you off, the dinner your received may not be the one your ordered, the mosquitos swarm, the temperature rises and falls, lightening may or may not strike the small house you're living in ... In my childhood home everything - every single detail of every moment - was planned and I've carried some of that tendency into my adult life. I want to continue to work on letting go a bit more and accept that the world will not end when things don't go as planned.

10. Stress and worrying. From September until about two weeks ago, we were intensely busy with freelance projects and although we balanced everything and came out in a really good place, I found myself feeling intense panic on occasion. It usually came on most abruptly when I would go to bed - instead of sleeping, my heart would pump and I would consider every possible outcome until I felt like I couldn't breath. This is a new development for me - I've always been someone who thrived under stress, particularly work-related stress. But I'm aware of my family history of stress disorders and am determined to keep a better handle on these symptoms if and when they arise, and to deal with them accordingly.

11. Soda. I shall not drink Pepsi Next, Fanta or Sprite. It's bad for me. I must stop.

Image by me, Kamakura, Japan

Wild Geese

2010-12-15T13:23:00.000+07:00

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting--
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

By Mary Oliver

Image by me, taken with my Holga in Toronto's Eaton Centre

Reverb 10 - Wisdom

2010-12-14T21:56:00.001+07:00

I'm participating in Reverb10, a daily writing prompt throughout the month of December related to reflecting on the previous year and planning for the next. You can read more about why I'm doing it here. Or read all my Reverb posts here.

(I've skipped prompts December 7th through 9th because I've been in transit from Osaka, Japan to Vientiane, Laos and I'm busy and mostly because I can.)

December 10th Prompt - Wisdom

Wisdom. Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

Hands down. This year I decided to quit my full time job to travel around the world and let life take me somewhere I couldn't possibly have planned for. I am currently sitting in a lovely guesthouse in Vientiane, Laos - a city of strange contradictions - and I don't regret one single moment of the last six and a half months*. How many people can say that?

* Okay, I do regret going outside three nights ago without bug spray on.

Strange photo by me, originally posted on my now mostly defunct Lost and Looking website.

Reverb 10 - Make

2010-12-07T16:13:00.000+07:00

What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?

I am always making things - there's almost always a short story or an essay half written or just completed (whatever that means). I get to make interesting web projects as part of my job, I constantly make photographs and recently I even made a pillow case into a dress.

If I want to make something bad enough, I generally clear time for it.

Super 8 Girl image, by me.

Reverb 10 - Let Go

2010-12-06T15:29:00.000+07:00

What or whom did you let go of this year? Why?

Since taking on a location independent life, where we are traveling to a new place every month or so, I feel like I've let go of a lot of things. By necessity I've gotten rid of most of my 'stuff' and can now fit almost everything I own into one standard size suitcase. Although I still consider London my home base, in some ways I feel like we're homeless - we've learned to adapt to new cities, new beds, new surroundings, new social rules in a way that I would never have believed myself capable of.

Stripping away everything has also forced me to get rid of excuses. I am living this amazing traveling life and if I'm not happy, there's very little I can blame it on but myself so I'm forced to be a lot more self-reflective than I used to be.

Finally, I've let go of the idea that I have to be anyone other than who I am. Some people aren't going to like me and I'm pretty okay with that these days. I've also learned that sometimes friendships run their course and by letting go of old relationships, I'm not devaluing them or what they meant to me, just recognizing that not everything was meant to last forever.

Photo by me, taken in Yoyogi Park, Tokyo, Japan

Reverb 10 - Wonder

2010-12-05T14:46:00.000+07:00

How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?

In some ways this entire year has been about creating opportunities for wonder. Feeling weighed down by a life that was not fulfilling me, we changed everything, risked everything, sold our stuff, and set out for a year of travel and exploring the world.

Now half way through our adventure, we've explored the deserts of Arizona; drank too much under the Vegas fluorescents; been eaten by bugs and stung by jelly fish in a sleepy sea-side Mexican town; wandered the cobbled streets of Puerto Vallarta; spent a glorious month in Vancouver; drove through the mountains from Vancouver to Saskatchewan; explored Sydney, Melbourne and the Great Ocean Road; and have spent the last two months falling in love with the strangeness of Japan. Every new place brings with it a sense of being lost woven with an overwhelming sense of amazement. There have been countless moments where I've the words "Look at where I am!" surprise and root me to the place and moment and for a short time I am completely and happily where I am.

The image above was taken in Wilson's Promontory in Australia. The water is brown because there is a plant in it that actually turns the fresh water to tea. Yes, tea! I think that's wonderful.

Photo by me, taken in Wilson's Promontory, Australia

Reverb 10 - Moment

2010-12-04T17:25:00.001+07:00

Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).

Early on the morning of May 1st, Dan and I strapped on our backpacks, did one final walk through around our London flat and locked the door for the last time. It was a beautiful, bright spring morning in London and everything looked and smelled clean because the night before it had absolutely poured. We'd gotten stuck in the storm on our way home from seeing a movie; as we ran the few blocks from the cinema to our flat, jumping over puddles, getting absolutely soaked, I remember feeling the weight that had become permanently wedged in the pit of my stomach begin to lighten and it occurred to me that the biggest thing I had to worry about was how I was going to get our clothes dry enough to pack before we left to catch our flight in the morning.

For the first time in our lives, we were almost completely unencumbered, on the brink of a year of travel and possibility. My gigantic 80 liter backpack was heavy and I was tired - we'd slept on the floor the night before and because of that and the buzz of anticipation, neither of us slept particularly well. As we walked towards the underground station near our house (the same one we'd used for our daily commute to work) to go to Heathrow airport, I felt something nearing pure hope. The train was almost empty because it was early on a Saturday morning and I tried to soak up the smells and sounds of the life I was leaving behind. I can remember us making an audio tape of the noises of the train as a way of bringing a little piece of London with us, and I held Dan's hand.

Photo by Dan, taken at Kawagoe, Japan

Reverb 10 - Writing

2010-12-03T16:22:00.003+07:00

Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?

I spend way to much time getting distracted by the noise of the Internet: Facebook, Twitter, email, my RSS feeder. Recently I wrote about some measures I'm taking to deal with some of these distractions and it's going alright - though I still check the RSS way too often.

It's challenging to eliminate these distractions altogether because I work in the web space and because I'm location independent and the web is also where I do most of my networking and where I keep in touch with loved ones. But I can do a better job of managing the amount of time I'm spending there so that it's less of a compulsion.

On December 10th Dan and I are heading into South East Asia for three and a half months - starting with Vientiane, Laos, then Hanoi, Vietnam and then Chiang Mai and other parts of Thailand. Although I need a certain amount of access to the Internet to work, I am genuinely hoping to try and schedule one or two days a week where it's mostly inaccessible to me so that I can try to find my way into a deeper practice of writing and thinking. We are also looking at renting some remote accommodations, which I'm hoping to be able to use as a retreat of sorts.

Image by me, Imperial Palace Grounds, Tokyo, Japan

Reverb 10 - One Word

2010-12-03T15:57:00.001+07:00

Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

My word for 2010 is: flux. Flux because it encapsulates not just 'change' in a calm, easy way but also the struggle inherent in change - the acknowledgment that it can be hard. Flux is also appropriate because it doesn't imply complete control; although I've made a lot of conscious decisions this year about travel and career, I've come to realize that I can't plan or control every detail of my life (though I do try!). Synonyms for flux include: flow, to purge, to make fluid. While many people my age are working hard at making their lives more tangible, for me this year has been about deconstructing what I think I should want and allowing myself to move into something that actually leaves me feeling fulfilled.

My word for 2011 is: reconcile. In many ways I'm living the life that I want but I still feel this tug towards the past and I know I'm holding onto things that it would be better to let go of: certain anxieties, self-doubt, friendships that may have run their course and to some extent anger about unkindnesses and slights. I want to work on putting some of those feelings to bed to make room for better things - more travel, more creativity, and more space to give attention to the people in my life who are supportive, generous and challenging in all the right ways.

Photo by me, Kamakura, Japan

Tying Up Loose Ends and Planning for a New Year

2010-12-03T15:15:00.001+07:00

Making New Years resolutions can feel a bit cliche and forced. If you need to do something, why wait until New Years to do it? How many of us make these resolutions every year only to forget about them by the end of the first week in January?

Despite this, I think there's something to be said about the importance of creating routines or rituals that can tie up loose ends and help us to move forward. I like scheduling in times to take account of where I am with my life and what I've been doing recently that either adds to or detracts from my happiness. Didn't someone wise say something about madness being the process of doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different outcomes (anyone know who said it?). How can we really know if we're caught up in same patterns without some reflection? We do this in business all the time - review our annual results and then set achievable and tangible goals for the next year - so why does it seem so silly to devote the same amount of space and time to do it in our personal lives?

This brings me to Reverb10, which I found through one of my favorite bloggers Susannah Conway. The idea is that every day in the month of December you get a prompt that makes you think about how the previous year went and to try and nail down where you want your path to go over the next twelve months. I like the idea of a structured accounting of where I am, especially because this year has been so full of change for me. I'm a few days behind, but I'm going to be posting these daily here (or at least for as long as I have an Internet connection - not sure how reliable the wifi is in Laos, which is where we're heading to next).

If any of you are participating in Reverb10, please let me know. I'd love to read your entries if you're making them public.

Image by me taken in Kamakura, Japan

I Hope This Gets to You

2010-12-02T12:24:00.002+07:00

The story: a girl moves across the country for grad school and her boyfriend writes her this song and makes this video for her. But he isn't going to tell her about it, he's going to see if by the magic of the internet and serendipity, it will find it's way to her.

My inner cynic tells me this is just a marketing ploy and that the quality of the video and track mean that we're going to shortly find out that Sony is behind it or that it's the new theme song for Toyota or something. But I'm going to turn that off for a few minutes and pretend that this guy might really be trying to do something sweet for someone he loves with no other self-serving force motivating him.

And if my inner cynic is right and this is all about making something viral, well, at least the song is good.

x

Note to Russell Smith: Start Thinking, Stop Generalizing

2010-11-26T14:49:00.005+07:00

I am mildly annoyed by Globe and Mail writer Russell Smith's latest column, Note to Canadian Writers: Stop Tweeting, Start Writing for a bunch of reasons:

The title of his piece is click bait at its most obvious - controversial just for the sake of it, not because he has anything particularly enlightening to add to the conversation.
He's used my friend Dianne's picture at the top of his post, which infers that she somehow shares his perspective. Dianne doesn't Tweet or Facebook, but I suspect that her reasons for not doing so are quite a bit more thoughtful and considerate than the ones Smith presents. Also, Dianne did do an extensive 'blog tour' of her book when it first came out, which is pretty social media clued-in. I don't like that he associated his column with her just because she doesn't tweet (but note: I don't speak for Dianne in any way here).
The column doesn't say anything valuable or new and offers no indication that he's done even a tiny bit of research to back up his assertions.

It's not so much the basic premise of his assertions that bugs me (although some do) as the condescending tone and implication with which he tries to make his point. You can read the article yourself, but here are the basics:

Publishers are increasingly putting the responsibility of self-promotion on writers because they believe that writers with a greater profile and relationship with an audience might sell more books.

I'm sure this is true and there and it makes pretty good sense. Canada isn't unique in the reality that the arts are underfunded, that old publishing models aren't making money anymore, that large bookstores have taken the place of small local shops (which means they buy huge quantities of books in bulk to sell cheaply - and everyone on the food chain makes less money) and with the advent of digital technologies such as E-Readers, the entire trade is changing much like it did in the music industry when MP3s first became popular.

Writers, even writers with award winning books, usually can't make a good living off of writing. They can teach, take on freelancing writing gigs to supplement their income, give talks, act as consultants ... but they generally can't make a living off of writing alone - this is especially true of short story writers and poets. I wonder how many writers in Canada can actually say, "I live off of my writing alone to a standard where I'm not worried about paying the bills and have some money in a savings account". Probably not many. Even Dave Eggers, who Smith refers to as an impresario of self-branding, runs a range of businesses to make ends meet and by his own estimation, is still pretty broke. In a March 2010 interview with The Guardian Eggers says, "Vendela [his wife, author and editor of one of their publications] doesn't get paid. If we are genius tastemakers we wouldn't be running this broke company. I mean, we're not going to fold any time soon but I wish we were what you say." Dave Eggers was on the New York Times Bestseller list and was a finalist for a Pulitzer for A Heart Breaking Work of Staggering Genius. Dave Eggers is not living off his writing.

Smith writes for The Globe and Mail, which is itself still figuring out how to monetize in a new world that wants its content online and wants it free. Despite this, surely even he realizes that traditional modes of promoting the work of writers are not as relevant anymore. Print advertising is dead, the new mega book store is really only interested in promoting the latest bestseller by big names like Stephen King or Nicholas Sparks and fewer people have cable or listen to radio because they get to pick and choose what they want to listen to online. Pretty or not, social media is increasingly a place where people get their content and where they find interesting links to books, authors or music to check out. It is one of the only surefire places left to reach potential consumers.

Publishers increasingly want writers to do some of the marketing legwork on Twitter and Facebook. This could be because they are lazy or underfunded, or it could be because they understand the medium and know that people are less interested in receiving marketing tweets from a monolithic, impersonal publishing house than from the unique, individual voices of the artists themselves. I probably wouldn't pay attention to tweets by Random House but I would definitely want to hear more from any number of its writers. Russell Smith might not realize this. When looking at the Twitter feed for the online men's magazine he co-founded, The DailyXY, it's obvious that whoever is managing it thinks that Twitter is for broadcasting, not for conversations. Captain, we have a problem.

Unpublished writers in particular are taking this advice from publishers to heart and are spending time building up a following even before they have a book deal, in some cases, even before they have a book.

If you want write a novel, it probably won't pay off to spend all your time on Twitter or Facebook. But does he think writers, even the great unwashed, unpaid and unpublished, are stupid? The people who are really serious about writing will find time to write, whether they are doing it while Tweeting, Facebooking, working two full time jobs or raising a family. It's always been this way and will always be so. Others will have all the time in the universe and will never get down to business. Participating in self-promotion via social media and the act of producing brilliant writing are not mutually exclusive.

Given how hard it is to get an agent and a publishing deal even with a range of great work in your wake, many young writers likely see self-promotion as one way they are able to potentially by-pass the traditional publishing bureaucracy. Self-publishing has come a long way and although it will certainly result in a lot more junk than you get through the traditional system with all of its gatekeepers and mediators (though anyone who's read a Harlequin or a Danielle Steele novel may disagree with me), there are occasionally big successes through alternative modes of publishing. Although now published by HarperVoyager, Canadian writer (now residing in the UK) Cory Doctorow has seen huge success through self-publishing and making his work available using the Internet. Even now, with a big publisher backing him, Doctorow releases free e-book versions of his work and encourages people to repurpose his content for educational or artistic uses.

In the non-fiction world there are lots of examples of people who have built up a relationship with followers using social media tools and then have gone on to sell a book to a publisher that has seen huge sales. Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project and Gary Vaynerchuk's Crush It are two examples from the last year that have been on the New YorkTimes Bestseller List.

Many writers who are signed with publishers will tell you that when their book comes out, there is almost no attention given to marketing or promoting it. Just because a publisher signs you, does not mean they are going to invest any money in making your book a success. If you're someone who has the inclination to take on social media so that you are not completely at the mercy of other people to see your book properly marketed, I think that's great. And it doesn't have to happen at the expense of your writing.

Canadian bestsellers are determined by prize juries (like the Giller and Governor General's awards) and many of the writers who win these awards have not been participants in self-promotion using social media.

Yep, probably true. But let's be honest, as much as they are talented and deserving, the writers who have won the prestigious awards are lucky. Fucking lucky! There are plenty of really wonderful books out there that will never win an award because awards are based on a jury system and juries are a crap shoot. Do you want to base your future success on roulette?

For five years I worked for an arts funding agency in Saskatchewan and for some of that time I handled the administration of grants. I organized applications, I sat in on juries, I recorded their findings and I found that the results varied wildly depending on the composition of the jury. An application could come before one jury and it would be criticized and ranked incredibly low, six months later the exact same application would be put before a different jury and would be lauded and receive funding. Unfortunately, writers hoping for a big literary prize have it even harder because their book will only go before each jury one time - there is no re-submitting it to a different set of jurors a few months later.

Jurors are human beings and even with strict adjudication criteria as their framework, they bring their own set of biases to the table. I think it's an intelligent writer who decides to not put all her eggs into that one extremely unreliable basket. Telling a writer to replace self-promotion with hoping for a high profile prize is like telling someone to quit their job in the hope of winning the lottery. It's stupid advice.

Self-promotion won't make any difference to the success of your book so just focus on writing a good book and hope for the best.

If this were just about telling people who wish to become writers that they should write first for love because it's highly unlikely that they will ever make a living from the sales of their books, I wouldn't disagree. People who are driven to write because they believe that they are going to be the next JK Rowling are sentencing themselves to a path of disappointment and likely poverty. First off, write because you love it and accept that you'll be lucky to get paid.

But Smith's column is all about book sales not about the motivation to write. He says that writers should "stop wasting their time on self-promotion because it has not been proven to make any difference whatsoever to one's sales." Smith's proof? His research? Well, if he's done any, he doesn't mention it.

I would love to see formal research done to really examine what the impact of social media promotion is on book sales, but I suspect it would be difficult because unlike the centralized model of traditional book marketing and publishing, social media is all over the place. It exists on blogs that are all created on different platforms, twitter accounts, Facebook, Tumblr memes and reblogs ... It isn't neat and tidy, which makes it an easy target for someone like Smith who seems to have discounted these tools just for the sake of being contrary.

Despite the lack of hard evidence, there are lots of anecdotal examples of how social media has helped sell books. Last month Edan Lepucki released her novella called You're Not Yet Like Me via a teeny publisher called Flatmancrooked. Many people 'know' Edan by following her Tumblr, which is only writerly in that she occasionally talks about books and literary things but mostly it is just about little daily happenings in her life. I suspect that a lot of us found her blog because she writes for The Millions, a popular online literary journal. The Millions does not come out in hard copy print and promotes itself mostly via social media channels yet they have thousands of visitors and actually pay money to real published writers - like Emily St. John Mendel who wrote the critically lauded piece of Canadian fiction Last Night in Montreal - to contribute interesting criticism and reviews. I wonder whether Smith's social media bias is applicable to publications like The Millions - are they wasting their time with social media despite the fact that it has enabled to them publish literary content that some might argue is more arresting and unique then what's published in papers like The Globe and Mail? As traditional, stodgy literary journals falter, the web and social media has enabled a bit of a renaissance of literary criticism and online journals that publish new work - for the first time in a long while, people (under the age of 40!) are excited about reading work by new authors and are engaging with literature in a critical way.

Back to Edan. Is her novella on the New York Times bestseller list? No, but why should aspiring to sit at the head of old school hierarchies be the only yardstick for measuring success? Using social media, Flatmancrooked and Edan sold out the first edition of 400 copies of her book in only a few days. They did this by Tweeting, Facebooking, blogging, Tumbling and by promoting the book using a movie-trailer style video uploaded to Youtube. DIY culture is back baby and it applies to more than knitting socks.

I doubt that the sales of Edan's novella are making anyone rich, but they've helped to fund a small independent press, have given Edan some monetary compensation for her time (more than many writers receive) and if you consider that these books were not created with the philosophy of mass production but instead with the principals of "low run, high quality collectibles" at heart, I would say that social media has helped to make Edan's little novella a smashing success.

If you tweet or twit, you aren't smart enough to write.

The above was one of the comments left on Smith's article and I think it sums up my biggest problem with the entire premise - although Smith isn't as obvious as the anonymous commenter, his underlying message is that writers who are self-promoting on social media are somehow less serious.

Social media has taken down some of the barriers that used to exist between artistic producers and consumers. Although there is still a role for the traditional gatekeepers of the publishing industry, increasingly that industry is being forced to work out how to remain relevant as a generation of people who have never known life without the Internet begin to force changes to this decades old model. Change makes people feel uncomfortable - particularly the self-appointed arbiters of taste who find themselves increasingly irrelevant to a world filled with people that continue to put greater emphasis on trusting people with a connection - even a tenuous one via social media - instead of so-called expert critics.

People like Smith can continue to preach the luddite view that social media is a waste of time but he's really only talking to other luddites who are feeling just as threatened about their role in the new publishing economy. The establishment has an interest in protecting its boundaries and one way of doing this is by trying to make the people who feel like they can do it themselves feel lesser.

Meanwhile, people like Edan Lepucki know better and are quietly building their careers outside of the system using social media. I'm sure the goal is still to someday win the lottery, but like my grandmother always told me - clever people always have a plan b. For artists with talent and drive, social media isn't a bad place to start.

Travel Plans Sometimes Change

2010-11-23T21:09:00.001+07:00

For those of you who were worried about me after I posted that quote yesterday - don't be. I just thought it was beautiful but yes, a little intense.

Things here are good but a bit stressed. We are working on wrapping up about four projects and are just really looking forward to taking some time in December to relax. Having too much work is really a good thing for people in our situation (freelancers without a stable paycheck), but we're both feeling a little bit burned out. Also, we're half way through our last week in Tokyo and try as I might to stay calm, I always get a little tense as I begin to emotionally prepare to move on to a new apartment, a new city. We've gotten really comfortable here - we have our little corner store, our favorite local pub (Standing Bar Clover in Shinjuku - we love you!), our nightly ritual of ice cream - and as much as I love this vagabonding life style, you do give up that warm comfort of the familiar every time you move on. Occasionally it all feels very sweet and I begin to feel a little less like Kerouac in On the Road and a little more like the protagonist in Last Night in Montreal (a good book - go read it).

On Sunday we'll be taking the train south to Osaka and Kyoto where we'll intersperse working with taking in the stunning turning of the leaves and enough shrines to last a life time. I'm looking forward to it - but I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the things we're working to get done in the meantime.

In other news, today there was an escalation in the conflict between North and South Korea. North Korea bombed a small South Korean island and South Korea responded in kind. All is quiet at the moment but of course the international heavyweights (America, the UK and China) have all weighed in and it remains to be seen whether this is just a blip or something to be worried about. We are due to take the ferry to South Korea on December 10th where we were planning to stay, mostly in Seoul, until January 3rd. Now we're kind of second guessing ourselves and wondering if we shouldn't just spend the holidays somewhere cheap and cheerful like Laos. I'm going to sleep on it.

For those of you who are interested, we've been involved in a few interesting projects lately:

Last week the Groubal Customer Satisfaction Index website launched. It takes social media data from places like Facebook and Twitter and analyzes sentiment to determine how satisfied the customers of over 200 brands are. The data updates hourly. It's pretty cool.
To complement the game, we also worked on a stock market like Facebook game that allows players to try to anticipate how companies will rank, earning or losing game currency depending on whether they make the right bets.
Yesterday I published an article on Contentini called Micro Copy: Content Strategy and Writing the User Interface, which is getting quite a bit of web love. For the most part, I find the content strategy community really encouraging and connected. It feels like we're forging new territory and instead of fighting for a piece of a pie, we're working together to try and build the best knowledge base possible to do truly outstanding work.
I try to update A Tramp Abroad once a week. My last three posts have gotten 18, 36 and 20 comments and it's great to be able to connect with such a great group of travelers over there.

Good night Internet.

Untitled

2010-11-21T12:16:00.000+07:00

"Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.” — Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum

Quote found on Slaughterhouse 90210.
Photo by me.

Music Will Save Your Life

2010-11-15T13:53:00.003+07:00

Lovely.

Still Enchanted, Still Busy

2010-11-14T15:19:00.000+07:00

Although I doubt it's scientifically provable, I am almost completely certain that time moves faster in Tokyo than anywhere else in the world. I feel a bit like I'm in a time lapse video where time is flowing instead of ticking, shadows are swimming in and out and light moves a bit too quickly from day to night and then back to day again. It's a conundrum because it is one of the most magical cities in the world - I want to be here - but time slips away too quickly. I feel like a girl trying to catch water in my hands.

We've been busier than usual, partly due to a lovely visit from some UK family during the past few weeks. Dan's aunt, uncle and cousin swung by Tokyo following a short holiday in China. Though I haven't felt at all lonely during our travels, it was almost surprising how nice it felt to see familiar faces again. While they were here we pulled ourselves away from laptops and work a little more than usual and took in some great temples, smaller towns and Tokyo sites. Although I am definitely a city girl, it was so wonderful to get out into the country where the trees are all turning gold and red and just sit and take in the less hectic pace. Japan is such a contradiction. It's all bright lights, big city, overwhelming technology and modernity, but it's equally ancient, spiritual and traditional. I've seen a lot of Shinto and Buddhist shrines over the past few weeks and there will be much more of that when we eventually make our way to Kyoto.

In between being tourists, we've been working like crazy people. We've got a few big projects launching this week and we're in that frenzied, last minute stage of tying up loose ends and testing and then retesting again to try and avoid any bugs or glitches. I can say with complete honesty that, at the moment, we've got more demand for our services than we can possibly take on. I know that times are hard in a lot of industries but I suspect this might translate to some small gains for the freelancer - where companies are afraid to hire someone full time, which is a commitment, they are quite willing to fill their gaps with those of us looking to take on interesting, short term projects. Our plan is to take off most of December and focus a bit on some of our own ideas, which have take the back burner as we work on other things. It's a hard balance though, because we've also had some enquiries lately that are pretty amazing in scope and scale - some of these things would be pretty hard to pass up.

We'll be spending Christmas and New Years in Seoul. I'm excited about it, but it's kind of bittersweet. I do think I'll miss the turkey dinner and the quiet, insulated way the holidays usually feel. If anyone knows where to find a traditional Christmas dinner in Seoul, please speak up!

I think we'll try to have a quieter week this week. We've got a little grocery store across the lane from our flat and I've been cooking a bit in our tiny kitchen, which consists of one hot plate, one microwave, one frying pan, one pot, two bowls, two plates and some cutlery. The only thing I've missed a little it is having an oven, but even that is negligible. I can remember when I moved into my solo place in Cardiff and I felt the need to buy a ton of dishes and cooking things from Ikea. I was so used to having hand blenders and all kinds of pots and dishes that I thought I needed them. If and when we ever settle in somewhere again, I really think I'll feel quite differently about what I really do need. Although two burners would be nice, we've made due really well in our small Tokyo kitchen. I think the key is to clean as you go because there's no room for a mess and no extra dishes to allow for it.

And when we don't want to cook, we can pick up fresh sushi across the street for about £2. Not bad at all!

x

All photos by me.

Report from the Frontier ... Tokyo Typhoon

2010-10-30T13:58:00.000+07:00

I am just waiting to get my call from Sophia Coppola - obviously she will want me as a creative collaborator after watching this gem.

x

Clearing Out the Clutter

2010-10-29T14:58:00.001+07:00

I've been reading Leo Babauta's new e-book Focus. Leo is the person behind the wildly popular website The Power of Less, which is essentially about how to be more productive by doing fewer things and with a particular focus on disconnecting from technology-driven noise. Although I subscribe to his website, I've always been quite skeptical about his premise; I am someone who works and makes a living primarily in the online space. It might be fine to tell a bank manager to disconnect from technology every now and again, but how can I possibly do it when almost all of my networking and work-related activities occur online. As a small business owner, it is even more challenging to disconnect because the more I put in, the more I get back. And I want a lot back.

This all means that I spend an incredible amount of time online. Seriously, I can't even really bring myself tell you how much time because it's embarrasing. I'm talking double digits. And I am always multi-tasking. At any given time I am simultaneously checking two emails address, following about two hundred people via Tweetdeck, checking in with Facebook every 15 minutes, replying to threads and networking on LinkedIn, responding to requests through a network of travel bloggers I belong to, connecting with people on Digg, Friendfeed, following dozens of blogs and websites via my RSS feeder .... This goes on all day long and even though I enjoy a lot of it, it is exhausting. This is in addition to creating content for four plus websites and doing the occasional stint as a guest blogger, taking and editing photos for iStock, and then there's the consulting work. Contrary to how it sounds, I'm really not complaining (at least not much). This is the life I wanted and I love the incredible diversity of my job. I love that I get paid to do the things I want to do and that because of these long days I am able live a location independent lifestyle. Right now I am staying in a lovely apartment in the middle of Shinjuku in Tokyo. How cool is that?

Knowing all of this and feeling the way I do about my life and my career path, I wasn't expecting to find much of value in Focus. Last night after spending a huge chunk of my day flitting around online, I picked up my Kindle and started reading. While I read my mind wandered: had I responded to that email, did I remember to write that Alexa site review, had so-and-so responded to me on Twitter? I kept looking over at my lap top, nearly picking it up once about every two minutes but telling myself, "just get to the end of this first chapter, then you can check in..." And then I read this:

Here's a little excercise that might prove useful: as you read this chapter, how many times were you distracted or tempted to switch to another task? How many times did you think of something you wanted to do, or check your email or other favorite distractions? How many times did you want to switch, but resisted? ... In an ideal world, the answers to all those questions would be "zero" - you'd be able to read with no distractions, and completely focus on your task. Most of us, however, have distractions coming from all sides, and the answers to this little exercise will probably prove illuminating.

He was completely right. Here I was, disconnected from my media devices for all of 15 minutes and instead of focusing on the book in front of me, my brain wouldn't stop firing, wouldn't stop obsessing about checking in. It wasn't a choice; I wasn't feeling the need to check Twitter, Facebook and email out of some real business need. I wanted to check these things because I've actually become addicted to them and that's a bad thing.

A really good example of where I see this behavior in a damaging light is my absolute OCD-like relationship with my Google Reader. For those of you who don't use a feedreader, it's something that allows you to import feeds from websites. When a website you follow gets updated, it shows in your feedreader and you can read the new content right there - all your websites in one place. It's a useful tool that allows me to keep up with what's going on without having to actually visit a bunch of websites. But I've become nuts about the thing. It's grown from a few dozen sites to close to 500 and every time I see a little dark number indicating that someone has added new content, I feel like I *need* to read it immediately. Some mornings I'll sit down in front of my computer and say to myself, "Okay, you only get half an hour with the RSS," and I'll still be sifting through it hours later. In a way that I can't really account for, I feel a bit like I've failed if I've got too many unread items - and yet I keep adding sites to it so that it is virtually impossible to clear it all out. Sometimes I feel actual anxiety about this.

So yeah, something had to give. Just because my career relies on me engaging with social media and keeping on top of what's going on in the online space doesn't mean that it has to consume my life and give me nightmares. Sometimes I have anxiety dreams about Twitter - the kind I used to have when I was a waitress ... All of a suddent the restaurant was really busy and I had a hundred impatient angry patrons to serve, oh, and I was naked! But I'm not a waitress anymore and I work for myself and part of building a practice that I love and find fulfilling means learning how to balance all of these things in a way that doesn't make my heart beat wildly. And although I consider myself to be productive - I mean, some credit please, we've built a lucrative location independent business in about six months and that's no small thing - I could be so much more productive if I could only learn how to focus a bit more on the things that matter, learn how to filter out the noise and stop treating social media like its heroin.

To address some of these things, I'm going to go on an online consumption diet of sorts. I'm not going cold turkey because it's simply not realistic given my lifestyle and profession; plus I think social media is valuable and exciting and I want to remain a part of it. But here's what I am going to do/have already started doing to be less of a junky and regain some control over my time:

Unless we have a big launch or client need at play (this happens rarely) I am going to limit my email checking to twice a day: once when I begin my work in the morning and once in the evening. I have also already configured my email inbox to filter certain content related to a lot of the networking I do to folders so that I don't have to see it until I am ready to deal with it - once a day during that second email check in.
I have spent a few hours today de-cluttering my RSS reader. I've still got a lot more in there then I probably should, but I've elminated about 100 sites from my regular stream. It was strangely similar to what I've experienced when moving house - at the beginning you get rid of things you don't need with a great deal of hesitation because you imagine that you'll miss them. As the process wears on you are madly throwing things out. I've never missed anything I've gotten rid of during these kinds of cullings and I'm certain that I won't miss the sites I've removed. I've also sorted my remaining items into folders that allow me to better regiment how and when I'm allowed to look at certain content. Instead of sorting feeds by topic, they are now divided into folders called: daily, weekly, monthly, blue moon and networking-related. I will allow myself 45 minutes every day to check the daily folder, one hour once a week to check the weekly folder, one hour once a month to check the monthly folder, I will rarely check the blue moon feed but it mostly consists of sites I couldn't quite bear to part with yet (yes, I'm this crazy), and the networking feed are sites that I don't really enjoy reading but are important to keep up with for other professional reasons. I'll check these once every few weeks or so. So my new schedule will allow me to open my Google Reader for about 45 minutes once a day. That's it. When I'm not actively using my allocated time, the Google Reader will remain closed.
I'm going to be a little less regimented about Twitter and Facebook, because in some ways I feel like these channels are the way I connect with people in the day - in the same way that other people work in offices and get to occasionally look up from their work and chat to a colleague. I've started using this free bit of Mac software called Slife that tracks the programmes you use throughout the day and tells you how long you've spent on them. Because I use Tweetdeck for Twitter, this should give me a pretty good idea of much time I'm spending there. If it starts to look like too much, I'll come up with a plan B. Facebook isn't as easy to track because it just counts as Internet browsing, but I also don't feel like it eats up too much of my time and I don't feel the same kind of anxiety about it that I've felt about my RSS feed and other time suck activities.
In order to really focus when I'm writing, I've started using Ommwriter, another free bit of software for Mac. It's a very basic word processing program that fills your entire screen with just a writing background and your text. Because it covers the entire screen, there are less distractions and therefore (hopefully) I'll feel less inclined to jump inbetween programs and tasks as much as I have been. I've written this in Ommwriter and will just copy and paste it into Blogger once I'm done. So far, so good.
When Dan and I decided to take this journey, he bought me a Kindle so that I could surround myself with books but not have to deal with the weight of lugging them around. There's a really great tool that can be used in conjunction with my Kindle called Instapaper. I have a little button installed on my browser and when I run into a longer article that I really want to read but don't have the time or inclination to focus on, I can click on it and it gets stored away. Once a week or whenever I choose, I can visit the Instapaper site and download the articles I've saved in my queue and put them on my Kindle. Then when I actually have a block of time to read, I can lay back and focus on what I'm doing.

Those are the biggest changes I can manage at the moment, but I'm hoping they will make a big difference in having me feel a little bit more in control of what I choose to consume and where I choose to invest my time. I want to feel connected but I want to feel like I control the impulse - not as though I'm driven by some addiction to constantly be checking in with things, most of which are probably not where my focus is best directed.

Although I'm not done reading it yet, I do recommend Leo Babauta's Focus if you're trying to gain a bit more control over the priorities in your life. So far it's not at an an airy-fairy bit of self-help but actually has some really practical suggestions for how to understand and shift negative behaviours. He also links to practical tools and programmes you can use to make all this a bit easier. It's available on his website here as a free PDF download or if you want the Premium version with a bunch of additional features you can purchase it here.

Photo by me.

Tokyo Cat Cafe

2010-10-28T16:53:00.000+07:00

Last week Dan and I spent an hour in a Tokyo cat cafe. I'd heard that these kinds of places existed but I was skeptical. I really didn't want to wander into a glorified animal shelter where things were in disarray and where the animals were not well taken care of. Although Neko Cafe: Cat Magic was a little on the stinky side (how could it not be with more than a dozen cats living in an apartment size space about ten feet above ground level?), it was surprisingly appealing. The cats were well tended to, lazy and were obviously subjected to more love and attention then they had much use for; when we arrived they were all sleeping and didn't seem interested in human attention. One of the rules at Cat Magic is don't wake up sleeping cats. And don't bug them if they walk away from you, which in my experience happened a lot.

The most interesting thing about the place was that, at least while we were there, it was almost exclusively frequented by posh looking business men in suits who came in alone and spent time stroking the cats. It's hard to imagine this from a Western perspective - you are a top level executive in the middle of your work day at a high pressure job and on your lunch break you take time out to hang with kittens as a way of de-stressing. It was strange but sweet.

Photos by me.

Music Will Save Your Life

2010-10-26T11:45:00.001+07:00

We've spent a lot of time working this week and I've been listening to a lot of music. These two songs in particular have been on heavy rotation. Apart from having female singers they couldn't be less alike really. The Anya Maria song is the cover of a really gross rap song by T.I. Whether it's her intention or not, I love the juxtaposition of unlikely people taking these uber-testosterone, lady-demeaning tracks and turning them upside down with their sweet girl voices. One of my favourites being this.

Portrait - Tokyo Love

2010-10-24T12:42:00.001+07:00

Photo by Dan.

When You Were Mine

2010-10-24T10:23:00.001+07:00

When I was a kid, I wanted to be Cyndi Lauper. I love the reckless abandon of her dancing in this performance, the hair, the clothes, the weird arty stuff she does and how pissed off she seems. And of course I love this song, which has still got to be one of my favorites.

Image: Cool Spotters

A Few Things I Love About Tokyo

2010-10-23T10:41:00.000+07:00

That you can be surrounded by skyscrapers and turn a corner to find a lovely temple where people tie their prayers to trees and face their gods barefooted under chimes and lanterns. It smells of incense and autumn.

That there are endless tiny little alley ways you would miss if you blinked and they are all filled with strange little closet-like restaurants where people meet to eat and drink. Every place feels like a revelation; sometimes one that is less than pleasant if horse penis and 'choice uterus' is on the menu.

That my lack of literacy in this language combined with my appalling sense of direction makes me remember what it feels like to be a child; I almost feel like clapping my hands together with happiness when I realize that I know where I'm going or when I remember how to say something in Japanese.

That the city feels never ending, never sleeps and is always bathed in the most beautiful lights.

That it feels quieter when it rains.

Kate

2010-10-22T07:27:00.003+07:00

"Thank you for being a friend
Traveled down the road and back again
Your heart is true you're a pal and a confidant.

And if you through a party
Invited everyone you ever knew
You would see the biggest gift would be from me
And the card attached would say thank you for being a friend."

The lovely Kate Davis, a mentor and friend, passed away early this morning in Toronto. I am so glad to have known her. There's isn't much to say really. Death, particularly when it takes someone as young as Kate feels incredibly cruel and unfair and I so wish she'd had more time to spend with the people who love her.

x

More Maggie

2010-10-21T07:37:00.005+07:00

I know, I know... I've been talking, blogging, Facebooking and Tweeting a lot about her lately. But that's because the girl has completely transformed my life. About a month back I happened upon her Do Lecture talk (thanks @MrsPBoutique!) and watched it about five times. It made me cry, smile, laugh and mostly it woke up this bit of me that had been sleeping.

From the time I was a child, I was interested in doing volunteer work. I can remember having my grandparents drive me to the edge of town on Sunday mornings at 6 am where I volunteered at the local animal shelter, mucking out cages, feeding animals and then eventually bathing them and playing with them. When I was 16 or so I saw a documentary about the Aids infected orphans of Romania and I remember writing to a Catholic organization who was working to help care for them. I wanted to go there so badly, I wanted to help. Somewhere along the way, I lost this drive. I've always cared and maintained a strong sense of what I like to think of as justice but I didn't see a way into making anything really happen. I guess a kind of helplessness sunk in.

Then I watched Maggie's talk and she just totally woke me up. Here's this 19 year old girl from Jersey (she's 23 now) who ends up in Nepal founding and running a home for orphans and a school. No one told her how to do it or gave her permission, she just did it. And my goodness! She does it with humility, grace and despite seeing some heart-wrenching things, she does it with almost a childlike sense of optimism. And she makes me want to do things too!

Over the past few weeks, Dan and I have had the privilege of working with Maggie and her wonderful friend, activist, inspirational colleague and brilliant writer Megan to help refine some small bits of the Blinknow.org website as they've prepared for the inevitable traffic and response the NY Times pieces were bound to bring them. We've received so many thank yous from these ladies, but the secret is that it's me who is completely overflowing with gratitude. These two amazing women have made me reconnect to that part of myself that believes that the world can be better and that we can be better in it. That all of these tiny moments, encounters and acts are serendipitous. And Dan, well, he's just the most supportive man in the world and over the past few weeks he did so much of his technical magic because he wants to make good things happen and because I think he sees how passionate I am about these ladies and what they're doing.

I really look forward to continuing to work with Maggie and Megan and who knows, maybe I'll find my way to Surkhet over the coming year, get my hands dirty and meet some of the lovely people Blinknow is working to support.

You can read the New York Times here: The D.I.Y Foreign Aid Revolution, view some stunning images of Kopila Valley Home and School on the Times Magazine slideshow and read more about how to change the world on Nicholas Kristof's NY Times Blog. I've put my favorite image from the slideshow below. Those beautiful girls remind me of an outtake from a Sophia Coppola film!

(Photo by Alessandra Petin for the NY Times)

Tokyo at Night = Magic

2010-10-19T08:59:00.001+07:00

I really like this photo Dan took of me last night when we went out to find some dinner. Especially at night, the surreal saturation of this city is just intensified - all the lights come on in all the shops, down all the streets and little lanes and it's just stunning.

The strangest sensation for me so far is that suddenly I find myself completely illiterate. I'm so used to looking at language and immediately understanding it - without thinking. Language is my strength, the thing I always feel confident about. In Japan I feel like a two year old, struggling with the absolute basics. So far I can say:

Domo Arigato (thank you very much - truth, I only know this because of the Mr. Roboto song)
Domo Arigato Gozimas (thank you very much, but said more politely)
Konichiwa (good morning/ early day)
Konbanoi (good evening - I know I'm not spelling it right but that's how it sounds)
Hi (yes)
Kudesai (please)

I really need to learn/remember: two, can I have, the check, pardon me/excuse me, vegetarian (I'm not one, but occasionally this feels like the safest option), bathroom/toilets, do you speak english, I don't speak Japanese. If I can get these down within the next week I'll be happy. Dan is much more advanced than I am - he can even read a number of the characters.

This sense of confusion and muteness really underlines how life-changing the ability to read and use language is and what a core right learning those basic skills of communication should be. Without being able to speak and read the local language, you're always a gypsy - someone merely passing across the periphery of a place, looking for ways in.

Tokyo Pad

2010-10-18T16:31:00.002+07:00

I love Japan so far, which is pretty amazing given that my expectations were insanely high. This morning we were leaving Shinjuku station en route to our apartment for the first time and we got pretty lost. Out of nowhere a lovely man came up, offered his help and walked us way out of his way to get us on the right path. He didn't do it for a tip or any gratification apart from being nice and practicing his English for a few minutes. I'm sure that there are rude Japanese people just as there are rude people in any culture, but for the most part, the politeness here is almost overwhelming. Every time I think of our helper this morning it makes me smile.

Small kindnesses are so important. It's a good reminder.

The above clip is a little video tour I made of our flat, which is quite comfortable and actually a little larger than I was expecting. We've unpacked and Dan already has his work station set up (the work is endless right now). When we went to the rental agency this morning, they had us sign a contract, which was mostly standard things but included were two clauses that made us laugh: we are not allowed to become Yakuza (gangsters) or have them sleep over, and we are not allowed to play noisy games of Mahjong. Both reasonable requests I think!

I think we're going to like it here!

Japan

2010-10-17T18:31:00.003+07:00

Leaving Oz

2010-10-16T09:14:00.002+07:00

This will be a quick update because we're crazy busy and Internet access in Australia is not super reliable or accessible. I'll write more about our experiences here in the next few days and plan to do a big post about things I wish I'd known before coming to Australia on A Tramp Abroad. It's not all been roses but we've had some absolutely stunning moments like when we accidentally happened upon a koala forest! More pictures and proper update coming soon. With love xo

Kimono hanging in our room in Melbourne.

Yellow taxis, central Melbourne.

Dan!

Melbourne is a crazy mishmash of old Victorian style architecture and modernist skyscrapers.

Old Post Office/Mall in Central Melbourne.

My stupid sunglasses. But they do make my giant head look smaller!

Still life from our room in Melbourne.

Orange tree in our front garden, Melbourne.

Our street, Melbourne.

Speed Queen, the Laundromat, Melbourne

I actually really loved this laundromat on Carlisle Street in Melbourne. It was staffed by two lovely little Vietnamese ladies and looked very retro. There's something comforting about doing your laundry in a laundromat on a rainy spring day.

More laundromat.

Southern Cross Station, Melbourne.

Bay 65, Southern Cross Station, Melbourne. Where we caught our coach to Avalon Airport.

The view from our hotel in Sydney.

More Sydney hotel view.

Lovely Sydney architecture.

An Ibis on a cement block, Hyde Park, Central Sydney.

Hyde Park, Sydney.

Flowers in Hyde Park- it's early Spring here!

Sydney Tower.

Hyde Park.

Art installation in Hyde Park.

Fountain, Hyde Park.

Prince Albert, Sydney.

Winged boar, Sydney

Sesame Street - Feist Counting Song

2010-10-07T06:11:00.001+07:00

I watched this today with Sasha, the little 15 month old who lives in the house we're staying in while in Melbourne. Sesame Street is the best.

Music Will Save Your Life

2010-10-06T14:03:00.001+07:00

I've been listening to this all week. You can find more about the project, and even download the track for free here.

Wrestler Inspired by Tori Amos

2010-10-02T13:03:00.001+07:00

I looked out the dressing room door and saw the Japanese preliminary wrestlers taking down the ropes, beginning the process of putting the barbed wire around the ring. The wire they used was the real stuff: cold and uncaring, capable of tearing flesh in a hurry. I knew I had about 30 minutes before the wiring process was completed—a half-hour to undergo a drastic mental transformation. I took out my battered Sony Walkman and, after great deliberation, bypassed the obvious hard-rock selections. Finding solitude in a far corner of the frigid backstage area, I saw a cloud of my own breath as I pressed the play button. "Snow can wait, I forgot my mittens/ Wipe my nose, get my new boots on."

... I'm thankful for everything Tori has motivated me to do inside, and especially outside, the wrestling ring. For many years, I had thought of the fight against sexual violence as one best waged by women and survivors of assault. But then I heard that voice one night, in my beat up Chevy minivan, on my way home from some other road trip I can't recall. "When you gonna make up your mind? When you gonna love you as much as I do?"

Excerpt from The Wrestler and the Cornflake Girl: Wrestling Legend Mick Foley Explains how Tori Amos Changed His Life

Love and Marriage

2010-10-02T08:29:00.002+07:00

Danny & Annie from StoryCorps on Vimeo

Ever since I was a little girl, people would ask whether I wanted to get married and have kids. I don't know why this question is so often asked of little girls, as though it should be the focal point of our lives; maybe times have changed and this doesn't happen as much as it did when I was a child, I hope so. My response, for as long as I can remember was always: no friggin' way! (and I'm afraid it's still no friggin' way to having kids)

I think that part of the strength of my reaction came from the fact that I never wanted to be 'normal' or feel 'normal'. When I imagined a future, it was never one that kept me forever in the beautiful Canadian Prairies where I grew up. Especially as I child, I imagined that living fully meant living far away and doing exciting things every day. Now that I'm a bit older, I realize that this whole idea I had about 'normal' doesn't really exist and that location does little to create happiness except maybe in extremes (if you are lucky enough to live somewhere you love passionately or unlucky enough to be somewhere you hate). There isn't really a normal, there's just life, every day, every moment, and no matter where they're located, people are just trying to make the best of what they've got.

I am incredibly lucky because I am able to live a lifestyle that really suits me. I get to travel, do mostly fulfilling freelance work on my own schedule, I have the time for creativity and although I'm not wealthy, I've got enough to get by. I am also engaged to a wonderful man who genuinely makes me want to be a better person just because he is so bloody good and kind and brilliant. We're not getting married for religious reasons or because we have to, and we're not getting married to throw a lavish party. I can't speak for Dan, but my reasons are wrapped up in how certain I was as a child that I couldn't possibly be happy or fulfilled and be married. Marrying is my way of formally acknowledging that I can live the life I want and do it alongside someone who always reserves a soft place for me to land even when I'm not at my best. Instead of trying to control or shelter me from the world, I feel like he is there with me, opening every door, trying every lock, not afraid to see what fits and what doesn't. It's been an easy decision to make, which surprises me because I was always the girl with the reoccurring nightmare of walking down an aisle that I desperately wanted to flee from, but who also didn't want to embarrass anyone or hurt their feelings.

Are you throwing up yet?

There are some really bad statistics about marriage: the huge divorce rate, the high number of spouses who cheat and the lackluster reality that so many of us have witnessed first-hand in our own families: people who are not in love with but stay together, tormenting one another for years, wasted decades. I'm not a religious person, but marriage really does feel like an act of faith. If it all works out you'll both fight hard to hold onto the feelings and moments that brought you together in the first place and you'll continue to try, even in the face of illness and tragedy, to continue to see one another as a life raft, rather than an albatross. And even with all that, you might fail. But isn't it beautiful that knowing all that we do, we are still winning to try? This faith, it melts my heart a bit.

At the end of July my friends Carrie and Michael got married in Ucluelet, British Columbia on a beautiful beach. The ceremony was officiated by a rabbi and there were so many elements to their ceremony that touched me, that seemed to reflect so much of what a marriage should be about. The rabbi began the ceremony by asking them to look around at the 100 odd guests who were gathered in a circle around them and to realize that every single person made the long journey to be there out of love. And cheesy at it sounds, I could feel the love. About half way through the ceremony each of Carrie and Michael's siblings read a personal message to them about themes like love, patience and understanding. It was so much more powerful than just reciting a poem or scripture, every person had taken the time to write something personal and to impart some beautiful truth to them. Finally, and my favorite part of all, after the ceremony, Carrie and Michael walked away down the beach to spend 15 minutes alone together, to talk, to enter into their first moments of marriage in quiet contemplation with one another. I love that they prioritized their connection above the hoopla of the day. It was inspiring to witness a ceremony that made marriage feel real and true and not just a gong show of tulle and lace.

I'm fairly certain that wherever we decide to get married, it will be small - maybe even just the two of us. We'll come in together and leave together and in-between, we'll try to enjoy every single moment.

Photo of Carrie and Michael's Wedding by Dan.
Danny and Annie video found via the lovely Anna Coe.

Great Movies

2010-10-01T13:54:00.001+07:00

Roger Ebert has just released Great Movies III, which is presumably a follow up to Great Movies I and II. He just published the list of movies included and, although I wouldn't consider myself a huge film buff, I'm surprised by how few I've seen or even heard of.

Here's the list with the one's I've seen highlighted:

Ace in the Hole
Adaptation
After Dark, My Sweet
After Hours
The Age of Innocence
Army of Shadows
Atlantic City
Au Revoir, les Enfants
Babel
The Band Wagon
Baraka
The Battle of Algiers
La Belle Noiseuse
The Best Years of Our Lives
The Big Red One
Blade Runner: The Final Cut
Cabiria
Cat People
Chimes at Midnight
Chop Shop
Chuck Jones: Three Cartoons
Cool Hand Luke
Crimes and Misdemeanors
Crumb
Dark City
The Dead
Diva
Dog Day Afternoon
The Double Life of Veronique
Easy Rider
El Norte
El Topo
The Enigma of Kaspar Hauser
Exotica
Fanny and Alexander
Faust
Fitzcarraldo
Forbidden Games
The Godfather, Part II
The Great Dictator
Groundhog Day
Howards End
Inherit the Wind
Johnny Guitar
Juliet of the Spirits
Killer of Sheep
L. A. Confidential
The Last Picture Show
Last Tango in Paris
The Last Temptation of Christ
Late Spring
Leolo
The Long Goodbye
Magnolia
The Marriage of Maria Braun
Mephisto
Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters
Mon Oncle Antoine
Moolaade
My Fair Lady
My Man Godfrey
Nanook of the North
Ordet
Out of the Past
Pan's Labyrinth
Paths of Glory
The Phantom of the Opera
Pixote
Playtime
A Prairie Home Companion
Rebel Without a Cause
The Red Shoes
Ripley's Game
The River (Le Fleuve)
Rocco and His Brothers
Safety Last
Samurai Rebellion
Sansho the Bailiff
Santa Sangre (from 2003)
The Scarlet Empress
Secrets & Lies
The Shining
The Silence
The Terrorist
The Thief of Bagdad
3 Women
Through a Glass Darkly
Top Hat
Triumph of the Will
Vengeance Is Mine
Waking Life
Werckmeister Harmonies
What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?
Withnail & I
Winter Light
A Woman's Tale
Woodstock
WR--Mysteries of the Organism
A Year of the Quiet Sun (from 2003)
Yojimbo

That's 31/100 or 31% - a failing grade. Of those I've seen, my favorites are The Shining, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, The Godfather II and Adaptation.

How many of these have you seen? Which are your favorites?

Image Credit: Movie by van Ort

Crazy Courtney

2010-10-01T09:21:00.001+07:00

The Dark Night of the Soul from michael mouris on Vimeo.

This short animated film staring Courtney Love is totally crazy and a little bit awesome too. She is really quite insane in kind of a glorious old dame kind of way.

Print Is Not Dead

2010-09-30T10:23:00.002+07:00

Print Is Not Dead from Anthology Magazine on Vimeo.

And if the new quarterly magazine Anthology has anything to say about it, it's also getting a really friggin' cute makeover. I'm a sucker for a catchy song and some vintage duds.

Inspiration

2010-09-30T08:39:00.002+07:00

Maggie makes me so excited! To think that with the right mind frame, we can actually make a huge, huge difference in the world. She's truly an inspiration.

If you're so inclined (and why wouldn't you be?!) you can learn more about her project in Nepal and how you can help on her website.

(Those of you reading this in a feed reader - you'll need to click through to the post to see the video unfortunately)

Lovely Music Transcribed from Photos of Birds on a Wire

2010-09-28T19:13:00.001+07:00

Birds on the Wires from Jarbas Agnelli on Vimeo.

I love this! A composer used a photography of birds sitting on a wire to create a piece of music.

Not for the Kiddies

2010-09-28T18:15:00.001+07:00

Some of these old cartoons are pretty scary. Big bad wolf accidentally cuts of his own head, gets into a fight with a cat who is stalking Betty Boop, the cat kills the wolf, skins it and wears its head ... Pretty warped stuff.

Music Will Save Your Life

2010-09-28T09:09:00.001+07:00

Every Monday (actually it's Tuesday in Australia), I'm going to post a link to some music I really like. The sound in this one isn't always brilliant but I like the concept and everyone in it is so passionate and into it and well, it's hard not to like that.

It's been raining in Melbourne and this song feels perfect to me today.

Photos from Regina

2010-09-27T12:42:00.001+07:00

Dan and I spent a few weeks visiting family in Regina at the beginning of September. It was nice to be home, but it's always a little strange. I still think of Saskatchewan as home and in my head it exists in a static state, just waiting for me to return and pick up where I left off. But everything there keeps moving and I come home to find I'm not the centre of the universe. Most of my good friends have left town, the old haunts aren't as much fun as I remember them being and even the landscape of the city is different. We drove from Vancouver to Regina and back again and upon entering the south end for the first time, I realized that I didn't even know where to turn into the city anymore; there's been so much construction in the South West corner that it felt like a new and not altogether friendly place.

While home, we spent an afternoon looking at antiques. It all started because I'd forgotten my toy Diana film camera in Vancouver and I had a hankering for film. Value Village used to always have cool old cameras hanging around so we went there; but now that cool old film cameras are in vogue, all they had were crappy old point and clicks from the 90s. So we went across the road to the old Antique Mall on Rose Street. I hadn't been there in years but can remember spending lots of time wandering around while my grandparents shopped. Happily, it was still there and still filled with lots of neat stuff and much of it quite reasonably priced.

The selection of vintage cameras was really impressive from old Super 8 film cameras and polaroids to ancient film, they had quite a range. After digging around a bit I found a Kodak Pony II, a camera that was made in the late 50s. It's light weight compared to a lot of the cameras from that time period, takes 35mm film (convenient!) and best of all it has a lot of setting to play with. In addition to being able to manually control the aperture and focal range, it's also got a nifty little 'Rewind' button that allows you to double or triple expose frames. I bought it for an impressively low $12, mostly because we all thought the shutter was jammed and weren't sure if the thing would work.

After loading the film, the shutter magically loosened up and I spent the next week using up a roll to see if it would work. It did! And I think it might now be my favorite toy ever. You can see a bunch of the photos I took in Regina here, but these are some of my favorites:

You've Been Schooled

2010-09-23T09:56:00.001+07:00

I am in love with The School of One. A girl from Cleveland, who graduated from university in 2001, has decided that in the face of a shitty economy and lack of inspiring prospects, she will spend her time learning about all the things she never had a chance to during her formal education. As a way of formalizing the process and sticking to her plan, she's created a syllabus, the above schedule and a blog to document her experiences and help her keep on track.

I think it's a beautiful idea and it makes me realize that maybe I should try to formalize some of the little projects and interests I'm cultivating during this year of travel. For so many people, the response to joblessness is to go back to school and spend a crap load more money. But it seems to me that the success of the endeavor really depends on what you're trying to get out of it. If the intention is to follow your interests and explore the world with curiosity, you don't need a professor or a piece of paper at the end; a library card, an Internet connection and a comfortable pair of shoes can be enough. The concept is totally non-elitist and it elevates a personal investment in learning into something tangible and meaningful. Creating and scheduling time for something makes it a priority, not just another hobby.

Formal education can be a wonderful thing if you are able to afford it, and it can provide the basis for a great community of people who are interested in similar subjects. But unless you have a specific vocation in mind that requires a certificate to prove your knowledge, I wonder if the bureaucracy of 'School' really feeds the desire to know and learn or whether it just stifles and tricks us into thinking that there's only one right way to understand the world, one 'valued' way of accumulating knowledge.

There's no one-size-fits-all answer. But I am already working on my own syllabus. :)

Image Credit: The School of One

Margaret Atwood Dance Party

2010-09-22T17:51:00.001+07:00

Via We Who Are About to Die

Another Reason Not to Eat Octopus

2010-09-22T14:26:00.000+07:00

A mothers ultimate sacrifice from Koos du Preez on Vimeo.

I really like octopi. As a species they are incredibly intelligent and there have been many documented incidences of their amazing problem-solving abilities and overall cleverness. But I had no idea about the tragic selflessness of the Octopi reproduction process - it seems so needlessly self-sacrificial. But maybe motherhood is like that and it's why all my friends with babies look so exhausted all the time.

Once the eggs have been laid the female uses a string to attach them to her lair. She spends her time watching over the eggs and protecting them from predators and blowing water over them to provide them with oxygen. This last approximately 50 days during that time she will not eat or sleep.

Once the eggs have all hatched the female will die of starvation and exhaustion leaving the babies which are about the size of a grain of rice to survive on their own. They become part of the plankton that floats on the top of the water and if they are lucky enough to survive the first six weeks they will gradually start to sink towards the bottom of the ocean as the develop and take on the shape of an octopus.

The reproduction of the octopus is rather disheartening they basically exist to reproduce. The average lifespan of an octopus is only five years however, for the octopuses that reproduce it is almost half that at 2.5 years old. (source)

There's often a tendency to believe that the capacity to do wonderful, selfless things is strictly a human impulse. I don't believe that these female Octopi understand or think through why they are doing what they're doing, but I also don't think most selfless acts are rationalized or deeply considered. There's some instinct, which occasionally bubbles to the surface that makes conscious beings sacrifice themselves for others.

Dan would say it's all about biology - survival of the gene pool and pure drive - and he's probably right. But at the risk of sounding like a ridiculous hippie, I prefer to think that it's all about the love, baby.

Giller Long List

2010-09-22T06:08:00.000+07:00

I found out this morning that the lovely Dianne Warren's wonderful book Cool Water is on the Giller Prize long list. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Giller, it's Canada's top literary prize, kind of like an Oscar. And Dianne's book deserves it.

I recommend you check it you if you haven't already.

Congratulations Dianne!

Tokyo

2010-09-20T07:25:00.001+07:00

inter // states from Samuel Cockedey on Vimeo.

It blows my mind to think that in less than one month we'll be living in the middle of this.

Squeee!

Life Lessons: Things I've Learned Since Turning 30

2010-09-18T05:32:00.000+07:00

I'm not a self-help kind of gal. I'm a bit too cynical for things such as The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience or the belief that my star sign will somehow reveal some mystical path I'm meant to take. I believe that the 'secret' to finding wealth and happiness is that it's a slog every single day and nothing is guaranteed and that the best way to make friends and influence people is to be yourself; and if that makes you unpopular then bugger them all anyway. As a rule, I don't practice the act of faith and I'm pretty sure that most of what occurs is up to chance and occasionally, if you're lucky, good planning.

Until October of 2008 my life was completely different from what it is now and then four and a half months ago it changed drastically again. In the first instance, the change included selling my house, quitting a job that I loved and leaving my family and friends to move to Cardiff in the United Kingdom. It was a huge step and I can remember how frightened and overwhelmed I felt about it and how excited I was about what my life would look like.

After moving to Cardiff I took a job that I initially enjoyed, was in a relationship and even made friends - all the things one is meant to do after moving to a new place - but I still wasn't happy. If anything, I felt even more stuck than I'd felt before leaving Canada. So I ended my relationship, began a new relationship and eventually moved to London.

It was like the children's game where one person hides something and as the others look for it they are told if they are getting 'warmer', 'colder' or 'red hot'. After this second change I was definitely getting warmer. I loved London, had some wonderful friends there and was in the best relationship of my life. But there were still things that made me really unhappy. I had some bad experiences at work with a group of mean girls (I use the word 'girl' loosely here) and was increasingly feeling stressed and unfulfilled professionally. Because of the intense negativity of that situation it began to feel like a shadow was cast over all the good things. So we decided to make a change, again. Four and a half months later I'm writing this from Melbourne, Australia in a freezing cold little room we've rented in a bustling little neighborhood called St. Kilda where we can get boiled bagels and kosher meat and see orthodox Jews walking around with their tall hats and long curls on either side of their faces. And the sea with Luna Park is only a fifteen minute walk away and there are wonderful markets. Things aren't perfect and they never will be, but so many things are wonderful and I'm so glad we decided to do something about a situation that made us both unhappy.

Image: Luna Park at Night by katclay

And that's it basically. I've learned that if you don't like the direction your life is headed, if people are unkind or going into work makes you feel sick to your stomach, you can change things and you owe it to yourself to at least try. It's scary and depending on your situation it may be more difficult and there may be greater or lesser degrees of risk you are able to take on, but it is possible to throw up your hands and say "this isn't for me so I'm going to try something different". Small changes, big changes, whatever.

Some people will try to tell you that you've got a problem, that you're afraid of commitment, that you're insecure. They will try to make you feel like you need to accept your lot and live with it. Those people are probably just as miserable as you're feeling and are terrified that you'll prove that change is possible, terrified that they'll be left behind. And some people just like being miserable and they'll cradle it for the rest of their lives. Leave them to it.

I am so deeply grateful for all the wonderful people in my life who haven't told me I'm a lunatic for traveling around the world at the ripe old age of 32: my mother, my aunt, my grandparents, my lovely friends (Jackie - I'm looking at you) and all of our clients who just 'get' the concept of what we're doing and who continue to pay us to work on very cool projects regardless of where we happen to be located in the world. Finally, I am most grateful for Dan who is always so good to me, always an anchor no matter how bat shit crazy I'm behaving at any given moment and who keeps me warm, even in this cold little room in Melbourne in the early spring time.

Sometimes you just have to stop moving for a second an appreciate where you are. And yes, it's enough. More than enough.